#tfatws!Bucky x reader
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antiquarianfics · 1 year ago
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You Have a Girlfriend?
So you get a little confused when you’re drunk? So what?
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a/n: I saw a goofy little twitter post about this somewhere and ran with it. I’m goofy when I’m drunk, so, honestly? A very plausible scenario.
warnings: Mild language, alcohol consumption.
note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.
You do not have permission to copy, repost, or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.
You’re sitting next to Bucky and across from Sam, and you are a little very drunk. The three of you chose to have a drink and talk after a long day of working on the Wilsons’ boat. The issue, however, is that Sam challenged Bucky and yourself to a drinking game, and you were desperately losing.
One thing about you is that when you’re drunk: you feel the need to tell everyone how much you love them. Another thing about you when you’re drunk: your memory sucks.
“Sam,” you whisper yell across the bow of the boat. “Sam. Sam. Sam.”
Sam raises an eyebrow at you when he turns his attention to you.
“I have a secret to tell you! No, two secrets!” You hold out two fingers in front of you.
Sam smirks. “What’s that?”
“One,” you hold up one finger, “I love you; you’re a good friend. Two,” you hold up a second finger, “your friend who’s sitting by me is really, really hot.”
Sam lets out a loud laugh, and you grin at his reaction.
“I love you, too, kid.”
Bucky is smiling fondly at you, watching you with love and adoration. He’s glad he can’t get drunk simply for the ability to take care of you while you let loose.
“I’m really, really hot, huh?” Bucky teases, and he laughs when you nearly get whiplash from turning to look at him.
Your eyes are wide as you stare at him. In your drunken state, you clearly didn’t expect him to hear your admission to Sam. You relax after a second, though, and smile at him.
“Yeah, you are. Y’know, I was wonderin’…” you trail off, getting distracted as you stare into his bright blue eyes. You let out a content sigh as you observe him.
“What were ya wonderin’, Doll?” He lets his hand rest on your thigh, rubbing his hand up and down comfortingly.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Your question is dead serious. There’s no hesitancy or joke in your voice, and Bucky finds it completely endearing. He chuckles as he stares at you, and you can faintly hear Sam lose his shit. You don’t pull your attention away from Bucky at all, though.
“I do,” Bucky informs you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at your reaction.
Your eyes go wide, tears prickle at the corner of them. You swallow and wipe them away before doing your best to come up with a steady voice.
“Is it serious?” You question him.
“Very,” he smiles. “‘m gonna ask her to marry me.”
Generally speaking, Bucky wouldn’t have told you his plans, but he is fairly certain you’re not going to remember this conversation in the morning. And, if you do, he isn’t too concerned because he is so very serious.
You make no effort to hide your disappointment, and you let your tears fall freely this time.
“Oh, okay. She’s so lucky. Does she make you happy?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
You’re obviously upset, and you’re obviously unaware Bucky is talking about you. Sam is trying not to laugh, but his wide grin betrays him. Bucky, however, finds himself more concerned than entertained when you start to actually cry.
“Doll, what’s wrong?” He wipes a tear away with his thumb, softly holding your face.
“No!” You push his hand away, eyes going wide. “You have a girlfriend! She wouldn’t want you touchin’ me!”
He laughs then. He can’t help it. After all, his girlfriend would very much want him to touch you. You always have your hand interlaced with his, or your body snugly tucked into his side, or your hand in his hair, or… The list goes on.
“Hey, don’t laugh.” You frown.
“Sorry, sorry. ‘s just that my girlfriend loves when I touch you.”
Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
“Why would she like for you to touch other women?”
Sam bursts into another round of laughter. He is struggling to breathe as he wordlessly points at the two of you, ignoring Bucky’s glare.
“Oh, Doll, she doesn’t. She hates it, really, and I never pay another dame a lick of attention. She’s the only one I’ve got eyes for.” He kisses your forehead, a form of punctuation to his assurance.
Your critical thinking skills, however, are formally shot.
“You’re lying! You’re paying me attention! And I’m not your girlfriend! What’s your girlfriend’s name? I’ve got to tell her you’re cheating. Girl code.”
Sam loses it again.
“Your girlfriend! You: cheating! Shit!” Sam barely manages to get a thought out. Bucky grins at his friend. He can’t deny that he is just as entertained by your antics.
He pulls out his phone, opening his contacts up to the one labeled “Dollface,” and hands it to you.
“Here,” he says, “call her.”
You nod and take his phone, hitting the call button and holding his cellphone to your ear.
A ringtone fills the night air and you frown when you feel a vibration in your back pocket. Clumsily, you pull your own cellphone out of your pocket and look down at the screen.
“JBB <3 is calling…” appears on your screen along with a candid photo of Bucky laughing.
You stare at it, and Sam and Bucky stare at you. You don’t do anything—don’t say anything, don’t move—until the call goes to voicemail. Finally you look up at Bucky.
“Why’d it call me?”
“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend,” Bucky finally says.
Your face breaks into a wide grin.
“No shit!”
“I wasn’t that drunk!” You insist the following morning.
Sam and Bucky exchange a look before laughing.
“Kid,” Sam says once he’s calmed down enough. “You asked Tin-man if he had a girlfriend and cried when he said yes.”
Your eyes go wide as you turn to Bucky for confirmation.
“You did, Doll,” he says, smiling.
You stare for a moment before shrugging and turning back to your coffee in front of you.
“Y’know what? That’s a totally reasonable reaction,” you say, leaning back into Bucky as he situates himself behind you and plants a loving kiss in your hair.
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winterarmyy · 3 months ago
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Sleepy Heads
A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.
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Summary: That time when the reader accidentally fell asleep on a stranger’s shoulder in the subway ride home. The stranger in question, however, is none other than the former Winter Soldier, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.
Words: 1.4k++
Pairing: tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: none? just a really short fluffy moment with bucky.
Inspiration: Commuting home via train after long day of work makes me wish i had a shoulder to lean on while on the journey. And so, this idea was born from that thought.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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Y/N’s gaze was empty, staring to the distance, seemingly being swallowed by the void within her headspace. She had another long day at work; like any other weekday, grinding through the endless lines of words for each of her client’s documents until her eyes blurred.
The platform was noisy, filled with the clamour of people, the distant roar of the approaching train, and the faint buzz of conversations. The lights above her head flicker occasionally, casting brief shadows that danced along the walls. 
The subway ride home was her daily ritual, one she usually endured standing among the crowded commuters. When she saw the train coming her way, relief washed over her. “Finally, I can go home,” she thought.
The doors slid open, and she was immediately pushed by the crowd behind her. It was as if her feet were lifted in the air, her body was effortlessly being dragged into the train. Since it  was rush hour, the train car was packed. She had expected that but still, she couldn’t help but to let out a long sigh of exhaustion.
She slipped and weaved through the mass of bodies, knowing that it’ll be pointless. There’s no way she could get a seat now; she had to endure the 40 minute ride standing on the ache of her feet. 
Her thoughts immediately stopped when she unexpectedly found an empty row of seats. Well, to be fair, there was one man sitting there, but regardless, it was empty enough for her to sit.
How fortunate she was.
A passing thought echoed in her head, questioning why it was empty, but she was too tired to think too deeply about it. The exhaustion from the long hours at work had dulled her curiosity, leaving her with just enough energy to be grateful for the peace and quiet. Too exhausted to question her luck, she sank into the seat, letting out a sigh of gratitude.
As she settled in, her mind couldn’t help but to dwell on the earlier question. Why does no one want to sit next to this man? She briefly considered the possibility that he might be a weird pervert or something. Thinking about it now made her slightly uncomfortable.
However, that discomfort didn’t last long as she overheard whispers around her, saying how brave she was to sit next to the Winter Soldier. Her eyes widened in realisation, and she discreetly glanced at him, noticing the telltale signs she had missed in her exhaustion: the gloved hands, the intense expression, the aura of danger that surrounded him. 
She had heard of him. James Buchanan Barnes. 
She studied about him in history class back when she was a school girl and saw him on the news in recent years. A member of the Howling Commandos. Steve Roger’s best friend. The Winter Soldier. The victim of Hydra’s atrocities.
Perhaps it was the fatigue numbing her instincts, or maybe it was the hint of vulnerability in his eyes that contradicted the ruthless image painted by the stories. Surprisingly, there was a burning sensation in her chest the more she heard the foul whispers around her. “These people really need to shut their mouths or…”  She didn’t finish the thought.
Honestly, she was too tired to care if the man next to her was the Winter Soldier or Captain America himself. She was simply grateful that he wasn’t some sort of creepy pervert.
Next to her sat a lone man, his posture tense and his gaze averted. James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier, was accustomed to people avoiding him, their fear and whispers a constant reminder of his past. Today was no different, until Y/N sat down next to him without a second thought.
There were very few people who willingly sat this close to him: Sam, Mr. Nakajima, and perhaps his therapist. Strangers who were aware of him would never sit near him willingly. So when he saw her making a beeline towards him, he thought, “No way…” 
Now, he couldn’t help but be aware of her presence. 
Bucky straightened, expecting her to move away once she realised who he was. But she didn’t. She just sat there, her head lolling slightly as she fought to stay awake.
Bucky stole glances at her, noting the dark circles under her eyes and the way she seemed to radiate exhaustion . He noticed how her weary seemed to mirror his own, although for completely different reasons; hers from long hours of work, his from long hours of sleepless nights. 
Despite her weariness, there was a quiet beauty about her that captivated him.
His eyes widened in realisation that he’d been staring at her. He noticed the concerned looks of the people around them as they caught him, their thoughts clear on their faces.
He chastised himself for staring. “Stop it, Bucky. You’re being a creep.” But he couldn’t help it. When her head finally drooped and she fell asleep, he felt a pang of concern.
“Where’s her stop?” 
“What if she misses it?”  
“What if someone tries to take advantage of her while she’s sleeping?”
As the train jolted, her head swayed dangerously close to the pole beside her. Instinctively, Bucky’s metal arm shot out, catching her head before it hit. She didn’t stir, her breathing steady and soft; he could feel how close her body was to his own.
Bucky froze, his body tensing as he tried to process the situation. His eyes widened; he didn’t know why but he felt his heart racing in his chest. 
Before he could fully comprehend what was happening, her head lolled to the opposite side, landing gently on his shoulder. He felt a surge of panic, his breath hitching, but then she snuggled closer, her hands roamed along his right hand until her arms wrapped around his like he was a pillow. 
Bucky’s heart continued to race, violently.
He felt a blush creeping up his neck, his eyes widening in surprise. His fists balled up into tight, clenched knots as he felt the softness of her breasts gently squishing his biceps in between them. “Oh god, what do I do now?” he panicked.
But time passed, feeling her steady heartbeat and the warmth of her body pressed against him, he found himself relaxing. 
He began to notice the faint scent of vanilla that clung to her, a soft contrast to the sterile, metallic smell he had grown used to. Her breathing, initially steady, became slower and deeper; a rhythmic sound that somehow soothed his frayed nerves. He could see the faint traces of paper cuts on her fingers, remnants of a long day at work.
Despite her obvious fatigue, there was a certain grace in the way she moved, a gentle determination that intrigued him. Her soft, steady breathing started to sync with his own, creating a strange sense of calm that he hadn't felt in a long time. He admired the delicate curve of her eyelashes, the way her lips parted slightly as she went deeper into slumber. 
This simple act of trust, falling asleep next to him, a man feared by so many, stirred something deep within him. It was a small, fleeting moment of normalcy that he found himself cherishing against his better judgement.
He relaxed into the seat, allowing himself to savour the unexpected comfort of her presence and touch. He decided to let her sleep. As the time passed, the crowd around them began to lessen.
The previously hostile atmosphere of the train car softened, and the once frenetic energy of the rush hour turned into a more subdued, calming environment. The stares and whispers faded into the background as Bucky's attention became entirely focused on the woman resting beside him.
His own fatigue began to catch up with him, his eyes grew heavy, a rare sensation for him these days. And before he knew it, his cheek was resting gently against her head, and he was drifting off too. His plans and destination were long forgotten, overshadowed by the soothing presence of the woman clinging to his arm. 
He didn't mind if they both missed their stop; the thought of walking her home crossed his mind. Maybe he could introduce himself properly, maybe ask her out on a date, and see if she wouldn’t mind spending more time with him.
The idea, though fleeting, brought a sense of warmth and contentment he hadn’t felt in years. When his consciousness drifted further into the dreamland, a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his heart lighter than it had been in a long time.
And in the end, as the train continued its journey, people left the sleepy heads in their peaceful slumber, content in the rare moment of tranquility they had found together. End.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: Thank you for reading this very short drabble! Hope you enjoyed it ♡
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rosepetalsinwinter · 1 year ago
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Five Years That Felt Like a Millenium — Bucky Barnes
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Pairing: tfatws!bucky x reader
Word count: 9,554
Summary: It’s been five years since Thanos snapped his fingers. Five years spent all alone. Now Sam is back and he has a new friend. Will Bucky be the one to uncover the secrets behind the bruises lining her body?
Warnings: illusions and mention of violence, abuse, manipulation, and cheating. Nothing explicit. Protective!bucky.
Note: It's been a while since I've posted. Here's a little slice to get you going before I continue with "Meant to Be." Hope you enjoy! 💜
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Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi
Main Masterlist │Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3
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Happy reading!!
"Sammy!" A figure barrelled into Sam Wilson, almost making the five-foot-ten man topple over.
The girl's arms wrapped tightly around his bulky frame, hanging on for dear life. Her tears soaked his shirt, and her nails dug into his biceps almost painfully, but he said nothing. He only hugged her back with as much vigour and passion, letting his salty tears mix with hers.
Although no time had passed for Sam, years had passed for the girl—five to be exact—and he could feel all her emotions pouring out of her like a dam broken loose.
"Sammy!" she sobbed while her body shook violently. "You're back!"
"I've been back." Sam stroked a hand over the girl's hair, offering her comfort. "I've been here. Where were you?"
The first thing Sam did after he was blipped back to life was to call his sister, Sarah. Only to be told that five years had come and gone. His nephews, who were babies when he left, were now little men. The second thing Sam did was ask about Baby Girl.
He remembered when he first met her. Her family moved to the bayou when she was just five; Sam was fifteen. When her parents died, Sam's family took her in as their own, giving her the same amount of love they gave their other two kids.
So he was surprised, then, to find that Sarah hadn't heard from her in almost two years. Sam, himself, had no luck in locating her until recently. It took him eight months, but he finally found her. She had moved to New York and cut all ties with previous friends and family.
Sam wanted to ask why. Why leave Sarah and the boys? Why leave the only home she ever knew? His questions could wait, though. Now that she was here, he wouldn't ever let her go.
"Hey, Baby Girl," Sam shushed her when she sobbed louder, "I'm here. I'm not leaving again. Promise."
So fascinated by how she had aged from an awkward teen on the precipice of adulthood into a beautiful young woman, Sam did not notice the bruises lining her sides and underneath her clothes—or the circles under her eyes—from almost two years of interrupted sleep. Or the absence of light in her usually glowing irises.
When she let her entire weight fall on Sam and sobbed as she had when her parents died, he did not question it, only held on tighter and carried her towards the house.
"I've got you now, Baby Girl. Everything is gonna be just fine."
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While he did not explicitly say anything, Bucky Barnes found the Wilson Family Residence quite endearing. His house in the thirties had been small, and even his current apartment in Brooklyn was compact—which he liked—but there was something so serene about the land surrounding the Wilson residence, so very peaceful.
After ninety years of constant fights, one after the other, all Bucky really wanted was some peace and quiet. And now, he could easily find it after absolving himself of most of the guilt he was carrying.
It wasn't easy, but Bucky told Yori the truth about his son's death and since then, had managed to cross a few more names off his list of amends. A weight lifted off Bucky's shoulders as everything began to make sense.
The Flag Smasher's fiasco was over with, and while the Powerbroker was still at large, there was no immediate threat. Bucky Barnes could rest for now before trouble found him again—as trouble often did. Sam had asked Bucky to stay over for the long weekend, and Bucky had happily obliged.
"It'll be good for you. Get away from that city life."
Bucky agreed. If all went well, he might end up buying his own house. He had a little... calm in Wakanda, and he missed the solidarity.
The axe was steadfast in his hands as he brought it down towards his target, and the sturdy stump was no match for the combined strength of both, the sharp tool, and Bucky's enhanced strength. In one meagre swing, half the stump broke off and landed on the ground with a muffled thump.
Bucky wiped the sweat off his brow with his right arm. It was the middle of June, and while the days were sweltering hot and sticky, the nights could get cold in comparison. Sam had tasked Bucky to get the logs for the fire, seeing as he was the most efficient.
Bucky continued with his work until he got a steady rhythm, stopping periodically to sip his still cold beer. It was then that his enhanced hearing picked up on the strangest sound. He perched the axe on his left shoulder and looked towards the house where Sam Wilson seemed to be consoling a crying girl.
"Huh." Bucky didn't find the exchange as odd as he should have. Everyone around the bayou was always coming to Sam for something. Whether it was a favour, or a shoulder to cry on. Bucky thought she must be someone special if he was hugging her like that.
When Sam took the girl into the house, Bucky shook his head and finished the last of his beer. He continued chopping more wood until the sun began to set, which is when he deposited the axe back into the shed and made his way inside to crash on the couch. Tomorrow would be a long day, what with the bonfire Sam was hosting, and all. Bucky fell to a dreamless sleep the second his head touched the pillow.
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He was a light sleeper. So Bucky immediately woke up when he heard someone coming down the stairs. It took him a second to become aware of his surroundings, as it always did. He was in Louisiana, crashing on Sam's couch for the weekend.
Bucky turned his head to the left to see who it was. Probably the boys; they were early risers and loved pestering Bucky about his metal arm—not that he minded. He found their interest refreshing and loved putting a smile on their faces. He was surprised, then, to find a girl instead. The same one from yesterday.
Huh. The girl looked a mess, with only half her hair pulled back into a makeshift ponytail and black makeup smudged under her eyes. Her pants were unbuttoned, hanging precariously from her hips, and her jacket was falling off her shoulders, a few sizes too big. She was holding a pair of shoes in one hand, her phone and shirt in the other. She was also balancing a purse in the crook of her elbow.
It was the shirt that did it. Because, while the girl's own blouse was in her hands, she was wearing Sam's grey-green T-shirt. Bucky knew because that's what Sam was wearing yesterday. She was someone special then if she was wearing his clothes.
Bucky smirked. He was very aware of what the girl had been doing. He, himself, had been on both ends of the situation before. Though it was very long ago, he still remembered the embarrassment of being caught leaving a girl's room in the early hours of the morning.
The girl screamed when she saw Bucky, not expecting anyone to be up, much less lying on the couch and watching her horrible attempt at sneaking out. "Oh, God!" Her phone slipped from her grasp and landed on the floor with a loud clatter.
There was a moment of silence where the two merely stared at each other. Bucky, with poorly concealed amusement, and the girl, with mild horror. She moved first, crouching down to pick up her cracked phone.
"Does it still work?" Bucky's voice was raspy from disuse. When tears gathered in the girl's eyes as a reply, Bucky immediately sat up, dropping his amusement in exchange for concern. He knew nothing about her, but it seemed like she cried a lot.
"No," she murmured, though Bucky heard her as if she were beside him. "Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no..."
"Hey, it's alright," Bucky told her as he crouched down to pick up the purse she had thrown in her haste. He hesitated when he saw a shiny ring peeking out from one of the compartments—too fancy and expensive-looking to be something ordinary. He quickly tucked the circle back and ignored it. Had Sam proposed to her? Bucky was offended he hadn't told him. Maybe it was recent. "Is it turning on?"
"Oh God! N-no," the girl stuttered through her tears.
Bucky was convinced that this girl—who cried a lot—only knew how to say "no" and "oh, God."
"I'm sure Sam can get you a new one, no big deal. What's your name?" Bucky offered the girl his right hand, which she promptly ignored.
She shot up on unsteady legs. "I have to go."
Bucky mimicked her. "Okay?" It was turning out to be a very unusual conversation.
"I have to go," she said again, more slowly this time, as if he were a little kid who couldn't understand a word of English.
Bucky cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting on his legs before giving the girl her purse back. "Right."
The tally was now up to "no," "oh, God," and "I have to go." At least she wasn't crying anymore. Bucky hastily stepped out of the girl's way when he realized he was blocking the hall that led to the front door.
She moved as if someone lit a fire under her. One second, she was there, and the next, she was out the door with her pants still unbuttoned, her jacket still falling off her shoulder, and her shoes still in her hand.
"Nice to meet you..." Bucky dropped his hand and trailed off when he realized she couldn't hear him anymore.
Huh. Either Bucky still didn't know how to talk to people, or that girl was on something. A lot of youngsters nowadays did drugs for fun. Bucky didn't understand it, nor did he want to. He could just ask Sam about it later.
Bucky stretched his arms above his head and cracked his neck. A couch was considerably comfier than the floor but still gave him a stiff back. No matter, a quick run could swiftly solve that problem. Bucky turned on the coffee machine and was biting into an apple when a shirtless Sam came barreling down the stairs.
"You sleep good, man?" Sam asked.
"Yeah," Bucky shrugged, wiping some juice from his chin, "I slept good. Well, as good as I can, considering..."
Sam hummed before opening the fridge and taking a swig of the orange juice. "Nightmare?"
Bucky shook his head. "I don't remember it—Listen, you didn't tell me you had a girl up there."
"A girl?"
"Messy hair, pretty face. Was crying yesterday?"
"Baby Girl? You saw that?" Sam stopped peeling the banana in his hand to look at Bucky.
Bucky merely shrugged and grabbed a mug from the cupboard.
"Sorry I didn't tell you she was over," said Sam, taking a bite of his now-peeled banana. "We were up talking real late. I guess I forgot."
"Yup. Talking," Bucky muttered with a smirk as he poured his coffee. "I bet."
"What?" Sam implored.
"Uh, nothing. Just, the girl seemed nice."
"She is nice," Sam retorted. "You met her?"
Bucky nodded and took a sip of his coffee. Black, just as he preferred it.
"Didn't think she'd be awake," Sam said with a yawn. "She barely slept."
Bucky had to try really hard to keep himself from laughing. "Well, she was."
"She was?" Sam asked suspiciously. "What do you mean she was? Did she go back to bed?"
Bucky shook his head. "She left."
"She left?" Sam scoffed, propping a hand on his hip. He had never looked more like Steve.
"That's what I said," Bucky confirmed, taking another sip. "She's gone."
"Gone?" Sam grumbled. "Bucky, what the hell are you talking about?"
Sam's accusing behaviour was really starting to irk Bucky, making him think the girl's sneaking out was not mutual. Shit.
He laughed uncomfortably and put his mug down on the counter. "Your girl came running down the stairs, half-dressed. She dropped her phone, cracked it, didn't let me help. Then she said she 'had to go' and practically ran out of here, I dunno."
"When?" A vein popped in Sam's forehead as he grabbed a random shirt from the pile of clean laundry near the stairs.
Bucky hastily checked the watch on his right arm. "Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes tops."
That made Sam utter a series of colourful swears as he finished his breakfast and found his wallet.
"Wait, Sam, what's going on?"
Sam didn't answer Bucky, too busy looking for his keys in the wrong place.
"Sam!" Bucky asked louder.
"We talked about this!" Sam scoffed. "I told her to at least stay for the weekend. I can't believe this! We sat down like adults and came to an understanding." He finally found his keys on the key hook.
"Where are you going, Sam?" Bucky countered.
"I'm going to get her," Sam snapped before sighing dramatically and letting his shoulders droop. "Shit, I do not have time for this, Baby Girl."
Bucky moved over the kitchen counter and stood in front of Sam. "What about that meeting you've got?"
"What meeting?" Sam asked.
"That meeting about that thing," supplied Bucky.
"What thing?" Sam grumbled.
"You know what thing," Bucky countered.
"Oh. That. I'm gonna have to reschedule—Man! Where are my shoes?!"
"Why?"
"Why?" Sam echoed. "What's with all the questions, Buck? Because I have to get Baby Girl before she skips town and disappears on me again."
"Sam."
"I haven't seen her in eight months, man, and she hasn't seen me in five years. I'm not about to let her leave—"
"Sam!" Bucky shouted loud enough for his friend to hear. He grabbed his wallet and his keys and put on his jacket. "You're going to that meeting, Sam."
"Like hell I am," Sam retorted passionately.
"I'll go pick up your Baby Girl," Bucky said after downing the rest of his coffee. "You, go to your meeting."
Sam stopped for a moment and seriously considered Bucky's proposal. It was an important meeting. "She'll probably be at the taxi stand," he finally relented. "You know the one?"
Bucky nodded, tying up his shoelaces. "Yeah, I know the one."
"Buck?" Sam called when Bucky was stepping out the door. "You better bring her back, or else I'm gonna light a fire under your ass."
Bucky chuckled, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. "Understood, Sam."
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The taxi stand was abandoned. Really, what did the girl expect so early in the morning? It was a long weekend, and the residents of Delacroix rarely needed a commute into the city on an ordinary Friday. She was arguing with the lone taxi driver, pleading with him, really, to take her to the nearest airport. But the man kept denying her. He had been up all night and insisted on napping, telling her to wait another twenty minutes.
She didn't have twenty minutes, damn it. If anything, she needed more time. Time she didn't have.
Her phone could be blowing up right now, and she wouldn't know it. She wouldn't know the consequences of her actions until she bought a new phone. But maybe—just maybe, a voice inside her reasoned—Quentin would be too busy with his work retreat to notice her absence.
The girl tried getting the driver's attention again, who shot her the most hateful look she had ever received before starting his cab and driving away. "Hey! Wait!" she called out, but he had already turned the corner.
A laugh made her spin around. It was the man from this morning, the one on Sam's couch. He stood before her with his arms crossed, a big smile overtaking his face.
"You must not be from the city," he mused, "if you're that bad at hailing a cab."
Bucky had no trouble locating the girl, what with her being the only person in a one-mile radius demanding to be taken to the nearest airport. Her feeble attempts amused him, and frankly, Bucky was having trouble believing she was Sam's girl. He didn't think Sam would've gone for someone as... difficult as her. But hey, it was Sam wanting to spend the rest of his life with her, not Bucky.
Bucky surveyed the girl from head to toe. Her hair was settled, her pants buttoned, and most of her composure seemed to have returned. However, she had gone pale once he revealed himself, her eyes wide with guilt. She was caught red-handed; now, he would be the one to deliver her to Sam.
Bucky pointed at her with his left arm. "Sam wants you home."
He was surprised to see that when she looked down at the shiny metal, recognition flared through her eyes rather than shock or disgust. Good, he thought. She knows who I am.
"No, thank you," she managed to squeak out, and Bucky was pleased to know that the girl's vocabulary extended past the three phrases he had come to know her for.
"You seem smart," he told her when he saw her looking behind him, "but not that smart."
"Yeah?" she challenged, gaining a rare bit of courage. "What makes you say that?"
"You know who I am and what I'm capable of. Smart. You think you can run from me. Not smart."
"Is that right?" she asked. Bucky nodded, and the girl took a deep breath. "I must not be too smart then."
He raised a brow in challenge, wondering where she would go from there.
Suddenly, the girl threw her arms above her head and waved them with abandon. "Mr. Thurow!" she shouted, running past Bucky. "Mr. Thurow!"
Bucky slowly walked towards the girl, unhurried in his steps. He wanted to know what she would do.
"Mr. Thurow!" the girl panted. "I need your help."
"Jesus Christ!" Mr. Thurow bellowed. "As I live and breathe! Is that you, Baby Girl?" He was a stocky man with a kind smile and welcoming eyes.
"Yes, Mr. Thurow," the girl began confidently, "it is. I need your help, please. This man," she pointed behind her at Bucky, "is—"
"Carlos!" Bucky interjected with a smile. "How are you?"
"Sergeant Barnes! Back again already?" Carlos turned his attention away from the girl.
Bucky watched with amusement as the girl's face scrunched with confusion. Her lips parted slightly, and she blinked rapidly. "What can I say, Carlos? I was missing your potato salad."
"Hell yeah, you were," Carlos guffawed.
The girl stood there dumbfounded as the two men embraced each other.
"You know, it was my great nan's recipe?" Carlos asked. "Been in the family for generations."
"I didn't know that. You bringing it tonight?"
"For the bonfire?" Carlos confirmed. "You bet I am."
"Well," Bucky gestured to the girl, "I was just taking Baby Girl here back home. She got a little lost, and Sam was starting to worry." Bucky made sure to make himself sound condescending on purpose.
He heard her scoff. "I was not lost."
"Well, you get her home safe, then. Understood, Barnes? I want to see both of you tonight." Carlos mockingly glared at the girl and winked at Bucky before departing.
"See you, Carlos!" Bucky called out to his retreating figure. "Well?" he questioned, turning his attention to the girl after a moment of silence. "Are you gonna run and embarrass yourself again, or are you gonna come with me?"
"I am not going anywhere with you!" the girl scoffed.
"I will take you kicking and screaming if I have to," Bucky warned.
The girl took a step back hastily, believing his threat. "You're a heathen."
Well, Bucky shrugged. He had been called worse. "Sam threatened me with fire, and that's not how I'd like to leave this world if it's all the same to you."
The girl seemed to consider his words for a moment. "Fire is a painful way to go," she finally mused.
"It is," Bucky agreed.
"I don't like you," she told him bluntly.
"Okay." A lot of people didn't like Bucky. One more wouldn't hurt.
"But no one deserves to die like that."
It seemed the spawn of Satan had a heart.
"Does seem excessive," said Bucky.
The girl paused again. "If I run, you'll catch me." It wasn't a question.
"Always," Bucky promised, and the girl must have believed him because her shoulders deflated, and she hung her head in submission.
"Doesn't seem like I have a choice," she whispered, though Bucky heard her all the same.
"You don't."
"Okay," she relented.
"Okay. Let's go." Bucky led her toward where he parked, and the girl followed silently.
Good, she isn't being insufferable any longer, Bucky thought. Though, luck must not have been on his side that day because not a second later, once his bike came into view, the girl started complaining.
"No. I'm not sitting on that death trap."
Bucky turned to her with an annoyed groan. "Really?"
"I hate bikes!" she told him.
"What? You rather walk?" Bucky crossed his arms.
"Yes, please," the girl replied, mimicking his posture. "I walked all the way here, didn't I?"
"Well, too bad!" snapped Bucky. "We're taking the bike." He grabbed his helmet and handed it to her. He groaned again when she didn't take it and only looked at him like she'd never seen a helmet before. Maybe she hadn't. He wouldn't be surprised. Bucky rolled his eyes and placed the helmet on the girl's head, securing the straps and confirming it fit snugly.
"It's loose," she complained.
"Your head's a lot smaller than mine..." Bucky took his previous statement back. He could definitely see the girl and Sam together. Both of them were insufferable shitheads and obviously perfect for each other.
"Sit," he gestured to the bike. And when the girl turned to him with the same blank look in her eyes, Bucky merely huffed in annoyance. He picked her up and deposited her on the seat as if she weighed nothing. And she didn't. He ignored her shouts of protest and sat in front of her.
"Where's your helmet?" She sounded worried for him.
Bucky laughed. "I don't need one."
"Yes, you do," she chastised him. "You could die."
"I'm a super soldier," Bucky said as an answer.
"Even super soldiers die," the girl retorted.
"I won't die," Bucky responded blandly before revving the engine. "Hold on tight."
"I am not touching youuuu..." The girl ended her sentence with a sudden shriek when Bucky unexpectedly released the throttle and speedily drove away. Her arms wrapped around his torso in a vice-like grip, and she hid her face in his jacket. "Oh, God!" she screamed. "Oh, my God!"
She took her flailing legs and tried wrapping them around Bucky's hips, which made him laugh in surprise. She was holding onto him like a koala bear, all while screaming bloody murder in his ears. Her nails dug sharply into his chest, but he ignored the sting. He couldn't wait to see her face once they stopped.
And eventually, they did. Bucky parked his bike in the back and told the girl to get off, which, of course, she didn't do. He got up anyway, taking her with him, though she didn't let him go once he was standing.
Bucky tapped on the hand around his shoulder. "You can let go now. It's safe."
The girl obediently unwrapped herself from his body, falling indiligently to the ground.
"See?" Bucky smirked. "We didn't die."
"Oh my God," she groaned, shaking on the ground. "I can't feel my legs."
Bucky laughed, extending his metal arm towards her, which she took without complaint. "Let's try again," he suggested once she was steady on her feet. "I'm Bucky."
The girl told him her name, and he repeated it with a smile. "I still don't like you," she said.
"The feeling's mutual, doll." And if she blushed at the pet name? Well, Bucky simply chose to ignore it.
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He was on his third beer, a shame, really, since he couldn't feel it. But Bucky had developed a liking for the taste. It reminded him of better times. Before the war, and before his life completely changed.
Sam plopped down on the chair next to Bucky, a happy but tired smile on his face. Bucky turned to Sam and took a s'more from his outstretched hand, biting into the gooey center with a groan. "Man, this is good. I can't remember the last time I had one of these."
"Probably before Christopher Columbus discovered America."
"That's not funny, Sam," Bucky frowned. "Besides, everyone knows the Clovis people got here first, twenty thousand years ago."
"I didn't know that!"
"Because you're stupid," Bucky retorted.
"Whatever," scoffed Sam. He slid down in his chair and muttered "nerd" under his breath.
Bucky was preparing a retort when something caught his eye. The girl was playing with AJ and Cass, trying to catch them as they ran around the fire. Bucky cracked his knuckles and prepared to confront Sam. "You're really mean, you know that?
"Why? Because I called you a nerd?" Sam scoffed. "Well, it's true."
Bucky shook his head and levelled Sam with a glare. "Because you didn't tell me you're getting married."
A long silence followed. "Who's getting married?"
"You are!" Bucky exclaimed. "I didn't even know you had a girl."
"Because I don't!" Sam straightened. "And I'm not getting married."
"But—" Bucky was at a loss for words, then a thought struck him. "Holy shit, Sam! Don't tell me you—" Bucky leaned forward, lowering his voice considerably. "You slept with a married woman!"
Sam's face screwed up. "What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't sleep with anyone!"
Bucky was stunned, realizing a moment too late that he had completely misread the situation.
"Start from the beginning," Sam urged. And so Bucky told him what happened that morning, how the girl came down half-dressed and wearing his shirt. Bucky thought she was a one-night stand until he saw the ring in her purse, and Sam brought her back to his house.
"So, she's not your fiancé?"
"No! She's like a sister."
"But you call her Baby Girl!"
Sam rubbed his temples. "Everyone calls her that. Listen," he sighed, "maybe I should've introduced the two of you before, but I was overwhelmed by seeing her after so long. Besides, I didn't think you would start jumping to conclusions!"
Bucky rubbed his neck in embarrassment. Perhaps he was too quick to assume the girl was Sam's significant other. But if she wasn't involved with Sam, then who exactly was she?
The girl was sitting across from Bucky and Sam on the other side of the fire pit, nibbling on a s'more. The two men watched her as they talked.
"Her family lived in the plot behind ours. They were good people."
"Were?" Bucky questioned, feeling like there was more to the story.
Sam seemed to dissociate for a moment as if he were somewhere else. "Eleven years ago, my dad woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to run to town and wake as many folks as possible. There was a fire down the street, and the trucks had broken down on the highway."
Bucky tensed, hating the direction the story was taking.
"The smoke was so thick I was choking on it from a block away. Over half the house was up in flames by the time I got back. Three men went in and came right out not a second later. Folks were throwing bucketfuls of water to try and contain it, but I remember thinking that was useless. It's like the flames had a mind of their own."
It was then that Bucky accidentally made eye contact with the girl. She frowned at the intense look on his face, jerking her head as if to ask, "What?"
"What happened next?" Bucky asked without removing his gaze.
"I went towards the back, where the fire wasn't as strong. The upstairs window was wide open, and I found Baby Girl lying on the ground with twisted legs and blood oozing from her head." Sam scoffed a laugh, though there was no humour behind it.
Bucky's jaw dropped. "She jumped?"
Sam shook his head. "We found out later that her brother pushed her. My entire family was at the hospital when we broke the news that she was the only survivor."
"Shit." Baby Girl was glaring daggers at Bucky now, though he couldn't take her seriously. Melted chocolate dripped down her chin, and her hair was mussed from the wind. Bucky imagined her eleven years younger, wide-eyed and trembling as her life crumbled around her. He recalled her comment from that morning. "Fire is a painful way to go." "No one deserves to die like that." He looked away.
"She's acting like you're keeping her hostage," Bucky remarked.
"I might as well be," Sam grumbled. "She's dying to go back to New York, and she won't give me a proper reason why."
When Bucky looked back at the girl, she was chatting with Carlos Thurow, seemingly pleading with him. She waved her broken phone, and Bucky could see the cracks on the screen glinting from where he sat. Baby Girl slumped her shoulders in defeat when Carlos took his own phone out to show it had died.
Bucky felt a jolt in his chest as he watched the girl run her hands through her hair in frustration. Something was wrong.
Sam whistled beside him, waving Baby Girl over. The effect was immediate. Baby girl plastered on a shoddy smile, exaggerating a laugh as she waved back and made her way to them.
"You seem happy," Sam observed as the girl took the empty chair beside Bucky.
Bucky looked at Sam to see if he was joking. Sam was no spy, but didn't one have to be blind to not see how miserable Baby Girl looked under her fake smile?
"The party's very fun," Baby Girl answered. "It's—" guilt flashed across her features. "It's nice to see everyone after so long."
"Could've been sooner," Sam muttered.
"I told you I was busy!" she exclaimed. "I didn't have time to leave the city."
"But you won't tell me why," Sam countered. The fight seemed to leave his body, and he sighed. "I didn't call you over to argue with you. I won't bring it up again."
Baby Girl turned her nose to the sky in a way that made Bucky laugh. "You better not." And the conversation flowed smoothly from there.
Bucky offered her a beer, which she accepted with a smile, and the three laughed and joked about until tears ran unbidden down their cheeks. However, despite the mirth dancing in the air, Bucky could not ignore the lingering sadness in her eyes.
"You won't believe what this man asked me before," Sam guffawed, pointing accusingly at Bucky. "He asked if we were engaged!"
Laughter burst forth from mirth-kissed lips. "That's disgusting!" she managed between giggles. "What made you think that?"
Bucky felt flushed under her attention. "You were wearing Sam's clothes that morning," he explained sheepishly. "And I saw a ring in your purse."
Her face made a radical transformation. One moment, she was smiling in a way that made Bucky's heart flutter—the next moment, all pleasure seemed to drain away from her body, leaving her looking gaunt and haggard. Sam was too busy laughing at his untied shoelaces to notice the change in atmosphere, but Bucky felt the full force of it slam against his chest.
"I don't have a ring."
"But I—"
"No!" Her words seemed laced with desperation. Her sober eyes flicked toward Sam. "There was no ring," she stressed.
Bucky could see the hopelessness in her eyes. "Right," he muttered. "I must have been mistaken."
Sam, who had overcome his slight scramble with his shoelaces, sat upright. Inebriation laced his every move. "Right. But that made me think."
"That's never a good thing," Bucky interjected, trying to ease the lingering tension.
"Are you dating anyone? Sarah said she didn't know, but you can always tell me. Huh?" Sam teased. "Tell me. Who's the unfortunate bastard?"
Baby Girl's lips were a thin line, and Bucky anticipated the lie before she could open her mouth. "It's nothing like that. I'm not dating anyone." She finished the rest of her drink and immediately grabbed another.
"You can't lie to me," Sam wiggled his finger. "Come on, fess up. Whoever he is, he can't be worse than Beck."
Baby Girl froze, and Bucky's curiosity was piqued too much to ignore. "Beck?"
"Quentin Beck. Biggest asshole on the planet," Sam explained. "Beck and Baby Girl dated on and off in college. I would catch the bastard every other week with a different woman."
Bucky scrutinized the girl for a reaction, but she seemed to be holding her breath.
Sam began to pout like a child. "He always managed to win her over. At least I can die easy knowing they broke up before half the world blipped."
"He's not like that anymore," Baby Girl whispered to herself. Sam was too far to hear her, but Bucky had no such problem. "He's changed." She wrapped her arms around her body. "He's not like that anymore."
Bucky took in her dark under-eyes and trembling frame, her body sickly from stress. He believed her. Beck wasn't like that anymore. Perhaps he had moved on from his days of serial cheating and picked up a different hobby. Beck probably wasn't like that anymore, but he wasn't any better either.
The former spy suspected that Baby Girl was still involved with Beck. He observed her closely. Her eyes swirled with guilt, and her shoulders drooped in alarm. There was more to the story, but before Bucky could voice a question, Baby Girl stumbled onto unsteady feet. She swayed back and forth, betraying her inebriation, and Bucky reached over to keep her from falling.
Baby Girl pushed his hands away. "I'm tired," she croaked. "I'm going to bed." And she staggered away, bumping into people as she disappeared into the house.
Bucky relaxed back in his seat with a tired sigh. On his left, Sam was passed out over the arm of his chair, mouth open in a loud snore. Bucky craned his neck back and stared openly at the night sky. Stars twinkled brighter here than they did in the city. Everything was more serene and calm. However, since Baby Girl arrived, Bucky couldn't help but sense a slight shift in the air, as if the wind knew her secrets and was trying to warn them. One thing was made clear. It wouldn't be pretty.
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It felt oddly like déjà vu. A light clambering of feet roused Bucky from his half-sleep, and as always, it took a second for him to make sense of his surroundings. He was on Sam's couch.
The steps were hesitant and controlled—so not AJ and Cass. Excitement and a sugar overload had kept them up late, and they wouldn't wake until a few hours later. Bucky was proven right when a lone woman descended the steps instead of two boys.
She looked a lot better than the last time he had seen her. Freshly showered and reasonably presentable in her own clothes this time—not Sam's. She hadn't seen him yet, so Bucky took the opportunity to observe her a moment longer. Her under-eye area was still dark, though not as sunken as before, and she carried an air of determination around her.
"Good morning," Bucky broke the silence.
Baby Girl shrieked, seemingly slipping over nothing. She tumbled backward, falling in an indelicate heap onto an armchair. "God above!"
Her vocabulary was steadily expanding.
Bucky sat up, regarding her with a guilty expression. "Sorry."
"I forgot you were still here," she mumbled sheepishly, straightening herself into a more respectable position.
There was a moment of awkward silence where neither acknowledged the other.
"I was wondering..." the girl started.
"Yeah?"
"Could I borrow some money? I didn't bring enough with me from New York."
"Uh, sure," Bucky replied, grabbing his wallet from between the couch cushions. "How much do you need?"
Baby Girl looked down at her hands, tracing lazy lines on her palm. "One grand?" she grimaced.
Bucky looked at her with wide eyes. "What do you need a thousand dollars for?"
"I can make do with less!" she rushed to explain. "I can try stretching an eight hundred," she murmured. "But a new phone would be too expensive, and I'm not sure I can find a cheap last-minute flight."
"Excuse me?" Bucky exclaimed. He was fully awake now, leaning forward to hear her better. "What was that about a phone and a flight?"
Her guilty eyes met his confused ones. "I broke my phone," she explained, "so I need a new one. I also need to get back home, so I need to buy a plane ticket."
Bucky eyed her skeptically. "I thought you were staying."
"I changed my mind," she dismissed with a shaky wave. "I already went over it with Sam."
Bucky knew for a fact she was lying. She wouldn't even meet her eyes. "Is that what he would say if I asked him?"
"Of course!" she proclaimed. But Bucky could hear the hesitance.
"Okay. I'll go ask Sam." Bucky made to get up, but as predicted, the girl stopped him.
"Wait! Don't!"
Bucky sat back down with a satisfied smirk. "You're a sneaky little thing."
"Don't tell Sam," Baby Girl pleaded. "I'm sorry I lied. I didn't have another choice. He locked my credit card. Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking you for this favour."
"Hmm," Bucky hummed, crossing his arms and getting comfortable. "I'd be willing to help you—Only..." Bucky stressed when she tried to interrupt. "If you answer a few questions first."
Baby Girl mimicked Bucky's posture with a frown. "That hardly seems fair."
"I can always call Sam."
"Fucking fine," Baby Girl grumbled.
Satisfied by the flow of things, Bucky started his interrogation. "Why are you in such a rush to go back home?" Bucky asked, deciding to start small. He could tell Baby Girl was thinking hard about her answer, trying not to give too much away. She squinted her eyes as if it were putting strain on her. He decided she would make a horrible spy.
"I left in a hurry. I only planned a day trip. I don't have any clothes or money on me."
Bucky shook his head. "That's not what I asked."
Baby Girl glared at him. "I don't understand the question."
"What's waiting for you in New York? Do you have a job? A prior commitment? A boyfriend?" Bucky stretched that last word, giving the girl a smirk.
"I don't have a boyfriend," she frowned.
"Fiancé, then," Bucky concluded. "I saw that ring in your purse." He suddenly leapt forward, grabbing Baby Girl's left hand and pulling it toward him to inspect.
She initially squeaked a protest but stayed still as he prodded her ring finger with his eyes. "Tan line," he observed, and she snatched her limb back, throwing the most menacing glare she could manage toward him.
"No fiancé," she hissed.
"I don't believe you," Bucky shrugged. "Job, then? What do you do?"
It took too long for her to answer, making it obvious she was concocting a lie in her head. "I work in the... customer field. Where I work with customers."
If Bucky wasn't on the verge of laughter, he might've cringed from the secondhand embarrassment.
"And... books." She was obviously lying. Even she didn't believe what was coming out of her mouth.
"I think my cat might be a better liar than you," He remarked drily.
The girl huffed but stayed silent.
Bucky decided to try a different tactic. "What year is it?"
The girl regarded him strangely. "2024."
"How many sides does an octagon have?"
"Eight."
"What's Sam's last name?"
"Wilson."
"Who was Iron Man?"
"Tony Stark."
"What colour is the sky?"
"Blue."
"Who locked your credit card?"
"Quentin Beck."
Bucky laughed. The girl stared at him, horrified. She gaped at him like a fish, only managing to make senseless sounds. "Y-you—w-what!"
Bucky laughed harder. "I told you that day. You seem smart, but not that smart."
"How dare you!"
"Last question. Does your boyfriend know you're here?" If looks could kill, Bucky would be dead. He raised his arms in surrender. "I won't judge. And I won't tell Sam. I'm just trying to understand the situation so I can help."
Her glare slowly softened to fatigue. "No. He doesn't know."
Bucky bobbed his head. "I figured as much." He grabbed his unlocked phone and tossed it to her, assuming she would catch it. She didn't. The device smacked her in the chest before falling on her lap, which she stared at dumbly.
"Call him," said Bucky, standing up to stretch. "Let him know you're safe. Tell him no one kidnapped you, and he can unlock your card."
She opened her mouth to reply, but Bucky beat her to it. "I can't get you a plane ticket out of here, so this is the next best thing. You want to leave? Tell Sam about Quentin Beck, and he'll let you. He isn't that big of an asshole to keep you hostage here. There's hope for him yet." Bucky stepped out of the living room but turned around and stopped to add one more thing. "Sam's been different since you arrived. He's happier. You're all he talks about to anyone. Do him one last favour; stay the weekend, and don't choose that Quentin Beck guy over him." With that, Bucky strode to the bathroom to freshen up, missing the first teardrop.
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His phone was returned to him an hour or so later, accompanied by an uncomfortable smile and words of gratitude. "I told him I'm safe, and no one kidnapped me."
"Is he mad?" Bucky asked.
"He's a little upset," she confessed. "Promise you won't tell Sam?"
"Only if you promise not to run away." They stared at each other for a long moment, daring the other to disagree.
"Fine," the girl finally conceded. Bucky gave her a stiff nod and turned to leave. "Wait!" she exclaimed urgently. "He's still upset. Just ignore any other messages from him, okay? He should cool down after a while."
Bucky looked into her eyes. She was beautiful and unsuspecting looking. Fiery and transparent. He scrutinized her for deceit and instead found veiled resignation. He agreed and went to the backyard, leaving her in the kitchen.
It was an especially hot day, and there was much to do. Sarah wanted to landscape the back garden, and Bucky had volunteered. He didn't know the first thing about construction, but the boys had recently introduced him to YouTube, a magical place with the answers to all his questions. Bucky began to work, moving piles of dirt, levelling the uneven ground, and placing heavy slabs of concrete to form a pathway from the back porch to the lake.
Hours later, Bucky finished with the last slab of concrete, moving further away to admire his work. There was more to finish, but Sarah would be happy with his progress. Bucky wiped his brow, groaning at the sticky feeling of sweat dripping down his neck.
He grabbed his phone from the table on the porch to check the time, surprised at the number of notifications waiting for him. Bucky was by no means popular. The only person who contacted him somewhat regularly was Sam, but these notifications were all from the same unknown number. Bucky realized with a start that the barrage of missed calls and messages he was being attacked with were probably all from Quentin Beck.
Curiosity grabbed hold of him. He did promise the girl he would ignore any messages from him, but really, this was excessive. What if something was wrong and Beck urgently needed to contact her? He tapped on the message icon without another thought.
Bucky froze when he read the latest message.
You're dead when I find you.
He immediately scrolled to the top, reading the conversation from the beginning to try and gain some context to the threat. The thread started with a long paragraph from the girl detailing her situation, followed immediately with an exhausted apology.
I'm so sorry, please don't be mad. I'll be back as soon as I can.
Where the HELL are you?
Sam was asking questions. I tried to leave, but he got suspicious. I'll be back in a couple of days. I'm sorry.
You shouldn't have fucking seen him in the first place. I warned you.
Sam's career is in my hands. It'll only take one call to ruin him. I fucking warned you to never go near him.
He's trouble. He doesn't care about you like I do. He doesn't love you like I do.
The messages got progressively worse, teetering on the edge of insanity. Promising pain and broken bones, blaming it all on her.
Why do you make me do this?
Typical narcissist behaviour.
You're dead when I find you.
Baby Girl hadn't seen any of the messages after her rushed apology, but Bucky had a feeling she wouldn't be surprised by them either way. He clutched his phone tight, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.
What a bastard. What a self-entitled, psychotic prick. Everything came into clear focus, painting a detailed painting for Bucky to observe. Her behaviour started making sense. The bags under her eyes, the lack of light in her irises, the unworn ring... the secrets.
He decided then that he wouldn't tell her about the messages if she asked. Bucky would wait for the right time tonight to bring up the topic of Quentin Beck as innocently as he could, and offer her his help. She didn't need to know the extent of Beck's threats against her life.
Plan laid out, Bucky made his way inside for a well-deserved glass of cold water when the back door swung open. Baby Girl walked out with two lemonades and a plate of sandwiches balanced between the crook of her elbow. Some lemonade spilled over her hand when she abruptly stopped ahead of him. Bucky took the drinks from her and placed them on the small table.
Baby Girl put the plate of sandwiches next to the drinks and proceeded to lick the spilled lemonade from her hands. Bucky swallowed thickly, feeling flustered at such an innocent act. "You good?"
"Yeah," she replied. "I made us lunch and lemonade. Figured you could do with something cool."
"Yeah," Bucky was suddenly parched. "It's a hot day."
Baby Girl sat down at the table and took a large sip of her drink. "Sarah and Sam went to run some errands in the city. Said they'll be back late."
"What about the boys?" Bucky inquired, sitting down and taking a sip of his own. He groaned as the cool drink washed over him.
"They're having a sleepover at the neighbours." She handed him a sandwich, which he took with a smile.
"So it's just us today," he said, aware that the perfect opportunity for a less-than-pleasant conversation had just presented itself.
"Yup, just us."
An awkward silence fell over them, broken occasionally by the sound of chewing.
"The yard looks nice," Baby Girl blurted.
Bucky turned his neck to observe his handiwork. "Thanks. Still a lot to be done."
"You must be tired."
Bucky shrugged. "Not really. The heat is worse than anything else."
"Is that because of the serum?" she asked, immediately flushing with embarrassment. "Sorry! That's so insensitive of me. And it's none of my business."
"You're good," said Bucky. "I don't mind. Yeah, it's because of the serum. My stamina's through the roof."
"Wow," she admired.
"Could've been real handy with the ladies, back in the forties." Bucky flushed at the silence that followed. "During the war, I mean!" he corrected. "I could've used the stamina during the war."
The girl finished her lemonade in one long sip. "Right, of course."
"For battle. On the battlefield." Bucky finished his own drink, then stuffed another sandwich in his face to keep from further embarrassing himself.
Bucky's phone lit up with a notification, and the girl flicked her eyes toward the screen. "It's my neighbour," he told her. "He's looking after my cat."
Baby Girl visibly deflated. "That's nice," she smiled. "What's its name?"
"Alpine." Bucky decided this was as good a time as any to ask a few questions. "Listen, did you tell Quentin Beck where you are?" Bucky hated the scared look on her face.
"He knows I'm at Sam's," she started slowly.
Bucky took a deep breath and willed his expression to remain neutral. "Does he have an address?"
She shook her head in denial, and only then did Bucky find himself relaxing. He wouldn't need to worry about Beck showing up announced, which gave him more time to come up with a proper plan.
"I'm gonna take a dip," Bucky gestured to the lake. "Wanna join?"
"Maybe later."
Bucky stood up with a shrug. "Suit yourself." And he took his shirt off with one pull.
He felt Baby Girl's stare burning through his skin as he jogged toward the small lake, discarding his pants along the way. He entered the water in a running dive, letting gravity pull him to the bottom before kicking away and breaking the surface with a loud whoop. His body temperature slowly stabilized as he ran laps along the perimeter. He could still feel her stare as he stopped to tread.
"The water's amazing!" he yelled. "Join me!"
She threw her arms in the air. "I don't have a bathing suit."
Bucky floated on his back, arms crossed behind his head. "Who cares?"
After a moment's hesitation, Baby Girl laughed. "You're right. Who cares?" She grabbed the hem of her top and lifted it over her head, revealing a white camisole underneath. She stopped near the edge of the lake, fixing Bucky with a faux glare. "Well, turn around. You're crazy if you think I'm undressing in front of you."
Bucky smirked at her teasing nature and turned away, listening for a splash. After a moment, the water rippled, followed by a shrill scream. "Can I look?"
"Go ahead." Baby Girl laughed when Bucky whipped his head, sending a stream of water flying her way from his hair. "Damn, the water's cold."
"Feels good, though."
"Yeah."
They settled into a comfortable silence, floating on their backs and sneaking glances at each other. Her white camisole had turned see-through, giving Bucky a delicious glimpse of her skin and pale blue bra. He averted his gaze, trying to calm his racing heart.
"I'll miss this when I'm gone," said Baby Girl softly. "The peace and quiet."
"You don't have to leave," Bucky urged. "You could stay."
She turned to face him. "I can't," she replied sadly.
"You're scared for Sam," he observed, remembering the texts. "Why? He's the fucking Falcon. He helped defeat Thanos. Beck is nothing compared to that."
The girl's eyes widened in alarm. "How do you know that?"
Bucky didn't tell her he read the messages. He would've come to the same conclusion sooner or later. He ran his hand through his wet hair. "I used to be a spy." He fixed her with a pointed look. "And you're a horrible liar. Seriously, you are worse than my cat."
She huffed but didn't argue. After a moment of silent contemplation, she settled on her back and regarded him doubtfully. "Quentin has connections with the CIA, FBI, NSA, and Homeland Security. Any government official out there, he's probably on a first-name basis with them." Her face contorted in pain. "He could ruin Sam's life with a single phone call. I swore I would never give him a reason to."
Bucky's jaw clenched tightly. "What's the worst that bastard could do? Sam knows people too."
"Not enough. He could pin a drug charge. It wouldn't even have to stick. The bad press would be enough to ruin Sam's reputation."
"That's illegal," Bucky pointed out dangerously. Quentin Beck was turning out to be worse than Bucky imagined.
"He doesn't care about that when it comes to me," she dismissed. "Quentin can do no wrong when it comes to love."
"That's not love!" Bucky snapped, losing the last of his patience. They were floating dangerously close to one another, elbows brushing.
"Regardless. There's nothing to be done."
"You could stay," Bucky implored. "I'd keep you safe."
They were even closer now, both on their backs, faces turned toward the other, lips dangerously close. For a moment it looked like she might say yes. She opened her mouth to reply, but the sound of a car door slamming shut interrupted her.
"That must be Sam," she said, and the moment was broken.
Bucky moved first, swimming to the deck to grab his discarded pants. "I'll give you some privacy," he said, dragging the fabric up his legs. He left without another word.
Incessant knocking at the front door stopped Bucky in his tracks. Sam always carried a key. Bucky dropped his shirt and went around the house to the front. The car parked in the drive was unfamiliar and out of place. Sleek and shiny and black. Expensive. The man waiting impatiently at the door looked more out of place than the car. Dressed in a gray suit, brown loafers, and black shades, the man looked like he belonged on the cover of a real estate advertisement.
"Can I help you?" Bucky snapped, feeling on edge.
The man lifted his shades to regard Bucky with a look of contempt, eyeing his exposed chest and metal arm with barely concealed disgust. "Yeah, maybe you can. Is this the Wilson residence?"
"Depends on who's asking."
"A friend," the man replied.
"Funny. I didn't know Sam had any friends."
"That's because I'm not Sam's friend," he scorned. "I'm looking for a girl."
Bucky inched closer to him. "I know lots of girls," he quipped.
The man smiled dangerously. "I'm looking for a very specific one. Yay high, unchecked temper, tendency for trouble."
Bucky laughed without humour. "Doesn't narrow much down, buddy. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
"You must be the Winter Soldier," the man mused.
"I go by James Barnes," Bucky snapped. "You must be Quentin Beck." Bucky had recognized him right away.
Quentin Beck spread his arms in a wide gesture. "The one and only. I suppose she told you about me."
"She didn't have to. I can smell a bastard from a mile away."
Beck clenched his fists, face contorting nastily, and stepped forward. "You little—"
Despite the sweltering heat, Bucky felt a coldness wash over him. His advanced senses picked up on footsteps coming from around the back. His head whipped to the side just as the girl rounded the corner. She wore jeans and nothing else, her white camisole still wet and slightly see-through. Bucky watched with dread as she took in the sight in front of her, blinking confusedly. The colour slowly drained from her flushed cheeks, and she froze as her brain caught up with her eyes.
"Sweetheart?" Beck's demeanour rapidly changed, and he stalked forward with his hands raised non-threateningly. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
Bucky blocked his path with a glare.
When Beck noticed her state of undress, he became angry, clenching his fists at his side. He noted Bucky's bare chest, his low-hanging jeans, and the girl's see-through top. "What the fuck is going on here?" Beck demanded.
When he fixed his icy glare on her, she reanimated, staggering back with a loud gasp, Baby Girl tripped over a rock but continued scooting backwards as she fell over. The raw fear emanating from her was enough to undo Bucky. Bucky shoved Beck as hard as he could—without using his super strength—and slammed him against his car.
"Motherfucker," Beck hissed, clutching his side.
"I suggest you leave before you really piss me off," Bucky threatened, stalking closer.
Beck staggered away, putting his car between them. "Not without my fiancé," he seethed.
"Fiancé, huh?" Bucky turned toward the girl. She was still on the ground, carefully watching the scene with wide eyes. He waited until she looked at him, then gave her a soft smile, silently urging her to trust him. "Are you his fiancé, Baby Girl?"
She jerked her head in denial. "No."
"There you have it. You heard the lady." Bucky's voice lowered dangerously. "Now leave. Before I make you leave."
"She's lying!" Beck screamed. And Bucky got the impression he was used to getting his way. "I gave her a ring."
Bucky had cornered Beck against the hood of his car and was looming dangerously over his crouched figure. "I don't see any ring. Now leave!"
Beck unlocked the car, jerking open the driver's side and inelegantly lumbering in. "This isn't over yet, Winter Soldier," he spat, and with one last seething glare toward the girl, he sped off.
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Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi
Main Masterlist│Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3
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Comments and Reblogs are appreciated!! 💜
@marvelatthetwilight @hallecarey1 @ria132love
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jadedvibes · 2 years ago
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Some Bucky to brighten your day. ❤️
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Last First Kiss
Pairing: tfatws!Bucky x reader
Warnings: Excessive fluff, first kisses, soft Bucky in Louisiana for New Year's Eve.
Word Count: 600
A/N: Thank you for this sweet @navybrat817. This truly brightened my day and inspired a nye drabble! Hope everyone has a very Happy New Year! 💙✨
“So a little birdie told me you’ve never had a new year’s kiss…” Bucky leaned against the wood railing beside you, taking in the sunset on the bayou.
Your eyes widened before you took a deep breath. “I’m gonna kill him.” Ever the meddler, Sam would tell your secret to the first guy you’d liked in a long time. 
“Yeah, I’ve been there,” he let out a laugh. “Sam always knows the exact right thing to do to get under your skin, it’s a gift really.” 
You shrugged casually. “He overheard me telling Sarah. It’s no big deal.” It really wasn’t, but you knew why Sam was annoyingly butting in. He’d also heard you telling his sister about how smitten you were with his dark-haired best friend. 
“Well let me know if you want to change that.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks, a small smile playing at your lips. There was no way. “The killing him part or the kiss?” 
Bucky smirked, charmed and hopeful that you’d agree. “I haven’t had one in a while, so keep me posted,” he checked his watch. Only a few more hours until midnight. The Wilson household had planned a lowkey evening for the kids later, and the both of you would be in attendance. 
He’d secretly had a crush on you for a little longer than you had on him and with Sam’s encouragement he figured there was no better time to do something about it.
“Haven’t committed a murder or given a kiss in a while?” You smiled sheepishly, trying awfully hard to deflect. Of all the reactions to finding out you’d never had a new year’s kiss, this was the last one you expected. Sam’s best friend, a guy you thought was off-limits, offering to change things for you.
He let out a laugh, you were too adorable. “Think about it, sweetheart. I hear it’s good luck,” he playfully shot you a wink before heading back to the barbeque. 
Exhaling a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you turned back to look at the setting sun over the calm waters. Colorful, peaceful, and captivating.
Later that night.
Sam nudged Sarah before shouting. “Guys it's 12:04, you’ve rung in the new year! You can break it up now.”
Grinning against Bucky’s lips, you felt your cheeks warm again. Busted.
Bucky begrudgingly pulled away from you, turning to glare at Sam. “Just getting as much luck from this as we can, man. Feel free to look away,” he muttered breathlessly before meeting your gaze with a soft shy smile. His thumb stroked your jawline, noting how beautiful you were up close. 
He went from menacing to cute in a split second. How did he do that? It didn’t really matter because the way he looked at you, well you sure could get used to it. 
“Yeah, look somewhere else,” you teasingly scowled at Sam before tugging at Bucky's henley and kissing him again. He cupped your face and poured himself into the kiss. He thought he was out of practice, but it surprised him how easily he fell back into step with you. Soft and sweeter than anything you could’ve imagined. Warm and careful with just the right amount of desire to leave you aching. Nothing you could have expected, yet everything you silently wished for. 
Neither of you knew it then, but what a lucky year it would turn out to be. Never did you imagine that the man that would be your first new year’s kiss would also be your last; for many years in between, and every day after. 
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vase-of-lilies · 1 year ago
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Efforts to Make Amends
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❀ Tfatws!Bucky x Mom!reader (f)
❀ Non-con and rape (DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT), past abuse, past parental abuse, mentions of captivity, fluff, childbirth, some suicidal ideation (but no actions), taking of virginity, some after sex bleeding, talking badly about a baby, pregnancy, dad bucky 🥺 (if there is anything else, PLEASE let me know!)
❀ Word Count: 6.3k
❀ A/N: This came to mind when I was just thinking about Buck:) I don’t know if this is already a concept, but if it is here is my take on it! :D
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The cry of the newborn baby sent shivers down your spine. Not a scared shiver, or a nervous shiver. Just a shiver. You are her mother now, and you can not let this baby down. You won’t let this baby down. As the nurse gently handed the bundle of joy over to you in a pink blanket, you laid eyes on the most beautiful little thing in the world. With her eyes barely open to see, her blue eyes stared back into your own. 
Tears filled your eyes as you held her to your chest, her babbles slowly dying down to soft breaths. You smiled down at the tiny human in your arms, clutching onto your finger softly. You heard the heart monitor go off, and you immediately held your daughter tighter in your arms. Not wanting to let her go, not for one second. Your OB/GYN entered the room, smiling brightly with the paperwork of your brand new baby. 
“All is well with your little girl. I’ll let you decide on a name and we can fill out this boring stuff.” She chuckles and sits next to you on the bed. 
“Oh, I really like this one.” She hums softly at the baby names in question. She points to the fourth one on the list that you made on a piece of paper. “Clarisse” is the name she chose. It was your mother's name. Bright, shining, gentle, and brave. She was your advocate through the years you were held captive by your own father. 
Of course the circumstances of how this child came into this world is not how you imagined it, you are still eternally grateful to have her in your life. 
It was at this moment you knew all too well what you had to do. You had to start brand new; New name, address, hair color. Everything you can to stay away from the life you were forced into as a child. Going by the name Carla, you set off out of the police station with your new ID, and a new life ahead of you. You couldn’t hold back the smile that had formed on your face by the time you made it to the bus stop. 
Paying the bus driver, you sat down on the bench by the window. Carefully holding your newborn baby to your chest, you stare out the window at the passing cars, buildings, and people. All making their way home from work or even to work. Even the people who call themselves “superheroes” have a home to go to, don’t they? No matter where you go, you know you have to provide what's best for this baby. The police were some help, getting you your ID, colored contacts as well as a wig and a new passport. But it was a long, aggravating process. With every woman looking at your baby with prying eyes, getting ready to let their lips loose in the daily office gossip session. 
Finally, it was time to leave. It was time to leave the life you were previously living, and set off on a new adventure with a new companion.
~~~~~~~
Arriving at the airport, you follow the directions to buy a ticket to Spain. With what little Spanish you knew was not the problem at this point. It was getting away from a crime populated city such as New York. The culture, the people, and the ocean around the country felt like the safest option. 
“ID, ma’am.” You heard the woman at the desk say. Pulling out your ID, you make sure it is your new one. This has a special hidden key trustworthy people can scan that tells them you are a witness in protection. They are very caring with you, and question nothing if you hesitate with your new name. “Carla Davenport. Date of birth November eighteenth.” Fuck! What's the year?? “Year?” The woman asks. “U-uhm, 2001...” You almost say it as a question, but the woman smiles and hands you back your ID. 
“Enjoy Spain!” She says from the desk, and onto security you go.
~~~~~~~
The plane ride was long, and agonizing with how anxious you were. But Clarisse easily soothed your nerves. The looks people gave you were noticeable, and the last few people to board on the plane seemed reluctant to sit next to you. A newborn on a plane is someone's worst nightmare. But Clarisse was a sleepy girl, and slept a majority of the flight. The moments she did start to cry, you knew she either had to be changed, or was hungry. Once you went to the bathroom, you sat on the toilet and began to breastfeed your little girl.
The mirror that was across from you, a woman you barely recognized stared back. False black-dyed locks fell around an exhausted, hurt, and abused mother. There wasn’t much that stared back. You peeled your eyes away from the mirror, and pinned them back on your little girl. Clarisse was enjoying her milk, and was soon going to fall into a milk coma. You just knew it. 
Sighing as you sit back down, you look back out the window. The night sky was absolutely beautiful at this time, and you loved what it looked like. Even though Clarisse was asleep, you still pointed out the lights along the coast that shaped the continent of Africa, and soon to the lights that covered Madrid. Your new home town. 
As the plane landed, you stopped at the gift shop to get a Spanish-to-English dictionary to start learning. Also stopping at a small convenience store in the airport, you exchanged all of your US dollars to Euros and bought some diapers and a diaper bag as well. It was the small things that the program didn’t provide that seemed to be the biggest issues for you. But you were grateful for the small apartment they found, and even more grateful that they provided rent for the first year of living there. 
Getting a job will be difficult, but you knew that you would figure it out somehow. With how populated the world is, there is bound to be an English speaking job for you out there. But that was the least of your worries right now. What you needed the most was food, sleep, and a warm blanket for you and Clarisse. All that you needed for a couple nights was already at the apartment, and you were eternally grateful. 
Finally getting to the small one bedroom apartment, you immediately lock the door behind you, and set off to the small bedroom. There is a mattress on the floor as well as a few blankets and a pillow, but other than that nothing much else. It was simple, and you liked it. Just for you and your little girl. You smiled as you saw the view out the window. The beautiful city lights shone through the fire escape balcony, giving a soft glow in the bedroom. It felt safe. 
Getting out a diaper and some wipes, you begin to change Clarisse. “I know sweet girl, it’s been a long day.” You whisper, giving soft kisses to her face as she babbles into the open air. “Are you gonna sleep well tonight? Hm? Or are you gonna keep me up?” You chuckle at the small girl in front of you, and you softly tickle her sides. Her incoherent giggles are music to your ears, and it is nothing like you have ever heard before. “You are so beautiful my little flower.” You smile, nuzzling your nose against hers softly.
After getting Clarisse all settled, you decided to move the mattress just under the window to get the perfect view of the night sky. You lay your head on the pillow, a feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time. Your little girl snuggled right up next to you, and stared up at the sky as well. You knew she would grow up to be the best little girl there is, and there is no doubt about that.
~~~~~~~
Sweat covered your forehead as you ran through the cold Russian woods. Barely escaping the Hydra base with your ankles not broken. You kept running until you knew you were far enough away to take a breath. But oh... were you wrong. The Winter Soldier was right behind you, every step of the way. It almost felt like he was in the trees, stalking your every move just like your father had conditioned him to. 
The man was silent as he looked for you, but the silence screamed death. You were terrified, and rightfully so. Even trying to hold your breath so no one could see it, including you, was one of the only options to stay hidden. Besides trying to hide within the trees, and snow on the ground. It was hopeless. You could already hear the crunching of the snow underneath the heavy combat boots of the Winter Soldier coming your way. 
This was it, you were going to die. You never knew why your father kept you in the base, but he would not be disappointed to hear that you were gone for good. Maybe it was for the best. No one would have to worry about keeping you silent, or contained. With the secrets you know, you could uncover the world's most dangerous criminals, documents, and codes to plenty of nuclear energy. But you swore to your mother you would never tell a soul. She loved her husband and her daughter equally, but her caring nature made her keep the world she lived in safe. 
You were in your thoughts for too long. ‘Fuck-’ you suck in a breath, not moving an inch as you feel the cold blade barely cut into your neck. “Please...” you couldn’t believe you were begging for mercy, but you were strong. You had to stay alive; for your mother. “Cooperate and I won’t kill you...” the soldier said in a dark voice. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to kill you. 
Instead of questioning him, you gave a small nod. “Good girl.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. Soon the cold spread from your arms all the way down to your most intimate parts. He had sliced away at your thin hospital-like gown, and stripped you bare. You couldn’t do anything with a knife to your neck so you stayed still. “Please d-don’t, I-I’ll go back wi-with you, just p-please!” You quietly beg him, but he has already stripped himself of his own tactical pants. 
He ignored your pleas, commanding you “Be a good girl and lay on your back...” A whimper left your throat and you froze. “N-no.” You stated, calmly. Instant regret filled your veins as he swiped his foot underneath yours and you fell to the ground. Your head hit a root sticking out from the ground and your vision was rendered blurry. “P-please...” Your attempt of a small plea exited your mouth, but you gave up. 
His veiny, god-like sculpted cock filled your cunt to the brim. You tried to scream, but nothing would come out. He started to thrust, and thrust, and thrust. It felt like it never ended. His blue eyes stared into your dull y/e/c eyes with no emotion or mercy. He was told to do this to you, and it traumatized you. With no luck, you tried to push him away but he was quick to pin your hands above your head with his strong arms. One metal, one flesh. 
“It's ok... just take it...” Was he trying to comfort you? 
“I- I can’t...” 
“You will.” That was the very last thing before you were left in darkness, unconscious and barely alive. 
~~~~~~~
Clarisse lets out a small cry, waking you up instantly. “Hey sweet pea, shh shh mommas got you.” You whisper to her, gently rocking her in your arms. You didn’t know what time it was, but you knew for sure you only slept a wink. You stayed up the rest of the night, helping her to sleep, feeding her every now and then, and getting only some sleep yourself. You were more than happy to stay awake for her, and that was a sacrifice you were willing to take. 
Once the sun started to come up, you yawned and decided to see what snacks you had brought from the airport. Some ChexMix and an apple was enough until you gathered enough courage to go grocery shopping. It had to be about 9:00 once Clarisse started to wake up. Swaying her as she drank from your breast, you hummed her a soft song and smiled from above her. As she drank, you began to grab what money you had, Charisse's baby bag and a face mask just in case someone did end up recognizing you. It would be lethal to have anyone from Hydra even know you exist. 
~~~~~~~
Bucky POV:
Of course I regret everything. I have to live with what I have done every day of my life, and deep down I know that I can’t blame myself for my actions. It’s not something to get used to. Some would say that I have gotten used to hearing the last breath come from someone's gurgling throat. Some would say that “he likes to watch them die.” But in truth, nothing is worse than seeing someone's life drain from their eyes just like a painting being washed away; the paint clinging to life to stay on the canvas but the water just too damn strong. 
A victim I remember very clearly, said whilst looking through the barrel of my gun “Fools make romance of death, for it is brutal and cruel. That I say be at peace with my passing is not such a thing. But once it is done, I will be safe and sound once more. I will live as long as I can, be with you as many days as we are sent, then keep me in your memories. I will see you again. That is a promise.” He was right, I would see him again. Not in heaven, or hell where I belong. But in my nightmares every single night. Therapy can only do so much for a broken, lost and helpless soldier. Let alone a 106 year old one. 
However, I was slowly making amends with the people who were fortunately left alive. Yori Nakasima, the sweet old man I have lunch with every Tuesday is just an example. He was not a victim, but his son was. He was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in turn he fell straight to the line of fire. My line of fire. No matter how much I try, I can never expel the begging that came from his mouth. He was innocent and had absolutely nothing to do with that mission. Simply… a loose knot that had to be tied tight. Yori and I went our own ways, and it makes me happy to see him still go to the same restaurant every Tuesday. He may not remember our conversation, but rest assured he can sleep knowing what happened to his son. 
One more name.
One more name and I can throw this damned book away.
Y/n Y/L/n. 
Y/n has been on this list for four to eight months now. Her name staring back at me with anger and regret. God why did her own father make me do this? Thoughts were racing through my head as I searched for Y/n, but nothing came up besides death certificates. She can’t be dead. She has to be alive, I know that she got out of there alive… Going deep into police, military and FBI/CIA records, along with the witness protection program as a sergeant, I was able to find someone by the name of Carla Davenport. I obviously knew this was wrong, and I was mostly doing this for myself. But there was one part of me that wanted to tell her that she is safe, and that she could finally rest with her guard down. 
Doing further research, I finally came across an address. I lucked out by being in Madrid at the time with Zemo and Sam while I did my research. All I had left was to confront her and tell her my intentions. Knowing Y/n, she would be feisty, careful but most likely fearless. I know her, and she would fight with every last cell of energy in her body to win. I slightly jump as I hear my phone buzz and I answer Sam.
“Hey Sam.” I said, jotting down Y/n’s new address. I heard a sigh on the other line, and I knew I was in for something. 
“I got a call from a CIA agent who found a breach in the witness protection program. Was that you?” Sam replies. 
“Uh, why would you think it would be me? I have no reason to be on that site in the first place.” Seriously? What kind of answer was that?? “Dr. Raynor told me you needed to find some people… Buck come on man, we could have done this together.” 
“Whatever happened to patient privacy? I found what I needed, so can I log out and be on my way?”
“Listen, I know you’re hurting. Especially over Y/n. I'll help you find her, but can we please do it the legal way?” He sounded convincing enough that he actually wanted to help, but I knew that it was just a ploy. Or, maybe that was my irrational thoughts talking for me.
“I’ve gotta do this on my own. She is the last one before I can finally go out and live how I want to. She will determine if I deserve to be free.” There was silence for a short period of time, and then another soft sigh from the man on the other line. 
“Alright, fine. But if I get one more phone call telling me you did something illegal, you’re kicked off my team for charades, and you are going to talk with Dr. Raynor. Do you understand?” 
I chuckled at his threat, and I nodded to myself. “Yeah, Sam. I understand. I wouldn’t want to bother Captain America with calls from random CIA agents about the site of witnesses in protection. This is honestly something Raynor should have let me do. She was the one who told me to “use your resources'' where there was nothing else to use. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.” 
“See you tomorrow Buck. Have a good night.” 
Hanging up the phone, I sigh and I finish writing down the information from the website. Now that I knew where she lived, it would then be the hard part of everything. Telling her what I did, and apologizing for it. 
~~~~~~~
Your POV:
It had now been three full weeks of living in Madrid and you were living your best life! You had a desk job dealing with English complaints for a website that was fully in Spanish, and your little girl could be with you all day long. Being able to earn a stable living was nice in such a large and new country. Also with your new way of life, you were not living off of ramen and buttered toast. You were able to make full meals with fresh ingredients from the finest vendors just down the street from your apartment. Steamed vegetables, freshly cooked meat that only needed a little bit of heating in the oven and your own seasonings and finally the glorious, melt-in-your-mouth Churros con Chocolate was what you were blessed with for dessert. It was heaven, and you were living in it with such happiness. 
Clarisse is now one month old, and has been a little more aware of what she can do with her body. Even at this young age, she knows who you are and who you are to her. Soon she’ll be running around on two healthy legs with energy skyrocketing every second. Watching her grow up is the highlight of your life, and you never wanted it to end. Her eyes would scan each room you went through, each aisle you walked down, and even grabbed up at you from your arms as you made your way down to the baby section. Clothes, shoes, food. Clothes, shoes, food. All you needed was those three things, and you would be on your way. 
It was a relief that you had not encountered a challenge by anyone. Not when little Clarisse cried for a little bit, and not even when the panic set in at the sound of the bustling cars outside the store. It was a success, and you could not wait to get home. Checking out with ease, you held Clarisse close to you as you took your groceries in the small basket on the back of your bike, and strapped the little girl into her car seat carrier on the front of your bike. “All safe and sound, my sweet girl,” You whisper, gently putting her blanket over her. On the way back to your apartment, you followed the same route to and from. Two lefts, a right, up the hill and to the left. It was almost a song you replayed over and over in your head, just to help you get home. Just like your mother taught you;
Down the hall and to the left, a little bit longer, up the stairs and in my arms you go! This song was to navigate the hallways of the large house your father had bought your family before he decided to keep you as his own lab rat. 
Once you made it into the safe walls of your home, the lock was the first thing in place after putting your bike inside. Clarrise still strapped in her seat, you rolled the bike to the far wall of your kitchen. The babbling baby in her carrier made you smile as she reached out to you, her feet kicking in excitement as she made eye contact. 
Holding your little girl felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. Not only was this life forced upon you, but this baby took everything from you. Your passion for dancing and painting, your want to go to college, desire to learn and grow. This creature that is in need of so much care and attention took all of that from you. But so did he. He hurt you the most. 
Every day memories flow through your brain like a movie projecting onto a loosely hanging sheet. Warped, but clear for a person to know what happened. It was your duty to Clarrise that she did not know your past, and that she was brought into this life in a way that is a crime. And she never had to know. Having her not grow up with a father was a sacrifice you were willing to take to keep her protected from the pain you went through.
Your alarm on your phone went off, and you sat down on the couch to feed Clarrise. As you unclipped your padded bra, you froze at the sound of a knock came from the front door. Luckily Clarrise didn’t seem too hungry at the moment, so you slowly approached the door. You looked through the peep hole and saw a man. He had short brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looked… gentle. 
As you held your child close to your chest you slowly opened the door.
“Can I help you?” 
He looked down at you, a hight difference clearly present. He smiled at the small child in your arms and responded to your question. “Im looking for Carla. Does she live here?” 
You nod and say “I am her, is there something I can do for you?” You ask again, wanting a reason for the sudden visit from this man. He looked back to your face and you made eye contact with him, it was his eyes that looked so familiar. 
“Right, I just moved in down the hall way and wanted to introduce myself. Im James Barnes, and I’m from 107, that way.” He pointed down the hall way and you followed his finger. You nodded with a smile. “Well, its nice to meet you James. Would you like to come in? I was just about to feed this little one, but if you don’t feel comfortable with breast feeding, you don’t have to come in.”
You invite him in, not thinking of the dangers or intents of this man. He kindly accepts and enters your small apartment. Offering him a seat on the couch, you sit down opposite from him in the rocking chair. Putting a cover over Clarrise, you begin to feed her, the milk coming from your breasts entering her mouth as she begins to feed. 
“What brings you to Spain? I don’t know a lot of English speakers here besides the land lord.” You say, wanting to start conversation. He nods and shrugs, smiling softly. 
“I just needed a change of scenery, thats all.” He keeps his answer simple, not knowing how to bring himself to tell you what he did. 
“Have I seen you around? You seem very familiar, maybe in the market?” You ask, knowing you have seen him somewhere. 
This was his chance, this is the time to tell her. 
“No, I don’t think it was in the market,” He says in a sad tone. “It was a while back, I- um, I worked with Hydra. For your father. A-and I was ordered to do something very harmful to you, and I believe it was the result of- of her…” He slowly explains as he takes off his glove, revealing his metal hand. 
Your heart drops, the puzzle piece finally fitting in the right place in your mind. Tears pool in your eyes as you look from his eyes to his hand. The metal one. The memories come flooding back to your head, the nightmares, the feelings, and the eyes. His eyes, those got forbidden eyes. As cold as ice, yet as blue as the ocean of where you pictured yourself at the time of his assault. 
"I am only here to apologize. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am no longer the winte-”
“Why,” you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” Your voice cracks, many emotions coming through your gritted teeth. 
His eyes softened at your broken voice, and he sighs softly looking down at his hand. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“What did my father do? What did he do to you?” You ask, pity also filling your voice as you too know what horrors other prisoners went through. You felt bad, even for him. You tear your eyes away from him, moving them to your baby, his baby. 
“He did horrible things, but nothing compares to what he did to you. What he made me do to you. I- Im so sorry Y/n…” He takes the risk of saying your name, not expecting anything from it. 
“What are you doing here, James? What do you expect me to do?” I ask, trying to understand why he is here. “Did you come to finish the job?” You ask the question that dreaded your mind the moment he told you who he was. 
“No, not at all. I actually came here to offer protection. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me or the life you had to endure when under the horrors of Hydra.”
You considered. You actually considered letting him stay and try to protect you. “What or who am I in danger of?” You counter his offer, trying to prove something but unsure of what. You sigh and shake your head. “Forget about it. Im in the witness protection program, so protection shouldn’t be a problem.” 
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Carla. How do you think I found you?” He asks, exposing what he did to find you. 
Your brows furrowed and you glared at him. “I see.”
You didn’t engage anymore, you were numb and didn’t know how to feel about the situation. You felt violated all over again, by the same man. “Leave. Please just go.” You whisper, tears falling freely down your cheeks. Once Clarrise was done eating, you clipped your breast back into your bra and stood up. You didn’t notice James put a card on your coffee table as he made his way to your door. 
“I understand your fears. I hope you have found safety in Spain, Carla.” He said emotionlessly, actually understanding your fears. As he went back to his apartment which he did actually buy, he sighed and shut the door. 
As he dialed the only phone number he actually knew, he slid down the door and sat against it as the line rung. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the door. 
“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson, Trauma counselor at the department of veterans affairs. Please leave a message and I will call you back when I’m free. Thanks!”
“Sam, It’s done. She- She’s crossed off the list.” 
~~~~~~~
Hours had passed by the time you could even speak. “How could he have found us?” You ask as you bounce Clarrise in your arms. The sleeping little girl in your arms was clueless to your question, hopefully dreaming of running free and not in hiding anymore. “My god, maybe it would be good to have protection…” 
You were talking to Clarrise as if she understood, but you knew she didn’t. You give her head a small kiss, looking in the direction of the coffee table in the middle of your small living room. An index card sat on the corner, scribbled on it was a phone number and a sloppy “107” on the bottom. You knew who this was from. 
You sighed and sat on the couch, cuddling your baby close to your chest, clutching her as if she would disappear. Staring at the piece of paper in your hands you contemplate calling him, contemplating on apologizing. Apologizing on your fathers behalf. 
Before you could stop yourself, you reached for your phone and dialed the number. 
~~~~~~~
Bucky jumped at the ring of his cell phone. He instantly recognized the number from the witness protection program website. 
“Hello?”
You took a few seconds before talking. “I know you know who this is. I’m making dinner a-and was wondering if you would like to join me?”
Bucky was taken a back by the sudden invitation, “Oh, sure I would love to. What time should I be there?” 
Responding rather quickly, you said, “Now?”
Before he could say anything, you had hung up and began making dinner. Boiling water for the noodles, opening up some seasonings you had just bought and putting the bread in the oven, you were ready for James. 
He knocked on your door and you put Clarrise in her bassinet in the living room, keeping an eye on her as you cooked. As you opened the door, you smiled softly at James. Instead of fearing him, you wrap your arms around him. He freezes, not yet used to such a gentle gesture from someone. 
As you sigh into him, he returns the hug and softly wraps his arms around you too. “Im so sorry James. Im sorry for everything my father did to you…” You know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but you can’t help but feel obligated knowing what James went through. 
“No, you have nothing to apologize for. It was and never will be your fault. Do you understand me?” James said, giving you a soft squeeze. 
You nod silently in response, and you gently pull away; tears falling from your eyes. Out of instinct, he cups your cheek and tenderly wipes the tears from your cheeks.
You lean into his benevolent touch and look up at him, a sense of security falling over yourself. Even though you knew him as the winter soldier, you knew you were safe with James. You knew that Clarrise was his child as well, and that she was safe with James. 
Gently reaching for his hand, you lead him into your home. He shuts the door behind him, and smiles as you walk to the kitchen continuing your work making dinner. You pause and look over at Clarrise who is now wide awake. 
“Do you want to meet her?” You ask, noticing James looking over at the babbling baby. 
He nods with a smile, subconsciously knowing that Clarrise is his child. As you approach the bassinet, you smile down at her. “Hi sweetheart, are you awake?” You ask in a small voice, smiling as she smiles back up at you. Picking her up, you hold her against your chest, looking to James with a smile. 
“I named her Clarrise, after my mother. Do you want to give her a middle name?” You ask, subconsciously accepting that he is her father. He looked to you and tilted his head. 
“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to force himself into the life you and Clarrise already have. You nod and wait for him to give an answer. “What about Sarah? After my sister?” 
Your ears perked at the word ‘sister,’ “You have a sister?” You ask with smile. 
“I had a sister. She um, she passed away a couple years ago. But she was sweet, and I think that it would be perfect for this sweet girl as well.” You smile at his suggestion and nod in approval. 
“Clarrise Sarah Barnes.” You utter, gently handing James your baby girl. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt her, I know you won’t.” Looking up at him, you can see the hesitation in his eyes. As he takes Clarrise in his arms, the connection is clear between them. A father-daughter bond that no one can just create. She was his.
“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” He subtly compliments you, himself falling for you. This time in the form of true love, not forced love. You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile pulling at your lips. 
“She has her fathers eyes,” You point out Clarrise's blue eyes, still slightly forming as she grows. “And his bravery.” Adding onto her attribute, you look at James face as he interacts with the baby. 
Thinking of his preposition, you say to him, “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little protection. I-it would be nice to not feel so scared going out. Clarrise I bet would love to have her father around as well.” 
You anxiously wait for James’s reaction, hoping he doesn’t think you are moving to fast. Relief flooded your system as he nods. “I promise you, no one will hurt you. Not anymore.” He says, turning his head back to you. “I promise, Carla.”
You shake your head, and wave your hand a little bit. “Y/n is fine. Im sick of being someone Im not.”
He chuckles softly. “Trust me, I get it.” You smile and you move next to him, leaning on his strong bicep as you both look down at your beautiful baby girl. 
“James?”
“Yes, Y/n?” 
You pause.
You smile as he transfers Clarrise back into your arms. She has fallen asleep again, so you put her back in her bassinet. With the knowledge that both of her parents looking down at her, it makes you feel secure and safe. 
You turn to Bucky and look up at him, your hands coming to meet his cheeks. The proximity of the both of you made your heart beat quicker, and your mind blank. You did what you felt was right and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. His hands hold your waist gently, and he pulls you into him. You pull away breathlessly and he kisses your temple. You move your arms around his torso, and he holds you in an embrace, his chin resting on your head.
"I’d like you to stay. Please.” You answer, a sigh of relief escaping your mouth as you feel him nod his head. 
“Of course, princess, of course.” He cradles the back of your head in his large hand and kisses your forehead once again. He may have hurt you in the past, but he’s gained a little bit of your trust. He showed you that he is sorry, and you understand that it was not his fault. In this new chapter of your life, you know you will make it far.
And so will your baby girl. 
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fluffysucker · 1 year ago
Text
Desperate People find faith.
Bucky Barnes x reader
An accident mends your broken heart.
A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.
I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.
Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me
TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit
Main Masterlist
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You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you
The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.
Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.
But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.
"Shouldn't have given up the shield."
His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.
You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.
Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.
Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.
And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.
Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.
You were the luckiest girl.
Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.
You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.
So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.
Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.
You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.
And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.
So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.
But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.
So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.
However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.
On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.
And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.
You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.
As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.
After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.
You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.
So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.
But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.
You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.
Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.
So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.
So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.
"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.
"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.
"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.
"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.
"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.
"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.
"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.
"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.
"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.
"We broke up."
Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.
"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.
"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.
"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.
"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.
"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.
"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.
"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.
"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.
"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."
And you hadn't rest since.
It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.
You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.
It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.
All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.
It was complicated and confusing.
You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.
However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.
You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.
Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.
You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.
John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.
Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.
Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.
But it was anyway.
You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.
It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.
You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.
You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.
It was just you and him, now.
And it was brutal.
You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.
Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.
The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.
John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.
It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.
Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.
You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.
You counted two.
You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.
You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.
You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?
A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.
With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.
Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.
Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.
Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.
He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.
"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.
You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.
"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.
"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.
"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.
"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.
"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.
"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.
"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.
"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.
"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.
"To die in your arms."
Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.
"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.
Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.
You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.
"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."
With that, the world went dark.
You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.
He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.
All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes
He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."
In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.
His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.
He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.
"She is okay."
Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.
After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.
It wasn't long before you woke up.
You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.
You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.
Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.
You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.
"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.
"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.
"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.
You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.
After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.
"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.
"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.
"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.
"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.
"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it
"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.
"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.
"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.
"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.
"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."
"You understand?"
"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."
"Is this why you think we broke up?"
"Isn't it?"
You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.
And you understood.
"No, it isn't."
He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.
"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."
You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.
"I remember everything."
You still didn't know what he wanted to say.
"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."
"Bucky.."
"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."
You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.
"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."
"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."
"Just like I failed today."
Before you could say anything, he kept going.
"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."
"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."
"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."
It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.
At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.
However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.
The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.
He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.
But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.
Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.
But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.
You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.
"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.
"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.
You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.
"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"
"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."
His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.
"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.
You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.
"You didn't deserve it."
"Neither did you."
You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.
"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."
If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.
Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.
"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.
"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."
You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."
With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.
"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.
It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.
You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.
You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.
"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."
"You didn't. I'm right here."
"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.
"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."
You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.
"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.
He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.
"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.
It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.
But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.
Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.
"Doll, will you marry me?"
You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.
"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.
With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.
He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.
Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.
It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.
You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.
"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.
"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.
"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.
The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.
"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.
The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.
Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.
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chxco-hyujin · 6 months ago
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BUCKY BARNES FANFIC READERS I NEED YOUR HELP
THERE'S THIS BUCKY X READER FANFIC IM LOOKING FOR AND I CAN'T FIND IT. I READ IT LIKE LAST MONTH. TOOK PLACE DURING TFATWS. ALL I REMEMBER; IS Y/N BEING FORCED TO BE WALKERS PARTNER AFTER ENDGAME. NO ONE KNOWING SHE WAS ALIVE. EVERYONE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD. SHE HAS POWER BLOCKER BRACELETS THAT ZAP HER IF SHE WEARS THEM.
PLEASE HELP ME FIND IT🙏🙏🙏
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ravenn-darkholme · 9 months ago
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❥ MASTERLIST •°. *࿐
Requests are open!
pls submit all of your crazy ideas, i need to write so go crazy <3
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|fluff: 🩰| angst: 🫧 | smut: 🍒|
All works posted on this blog were written by me, please dm if you want to translate, do not translate it without permission and credit! thankyou :) - liv <3
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❥ One Shots •°. *࿐
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❥ Series •°. *࿐
|🩰🫧| permanent price
Alex Summers x Mutant!OC
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❥ In progress •°. *࿐
Submit requests!
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venusfalling · 2 years ago
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I’m Sorry If I Scared You
summary: You deal with the fallout of going to Madripoor with Bucky.
warnings: Reader has long term injuries from previous battles, talk of injuries, canon typical violence
notes: part 3.3 of Where You Go, I Go. Based on Ep. 3 of TFATWS
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      Sam did his best, really, but criminals are a paranoid bunch. It was lucky that someone shot Selby through the window the moment Sam’s (and your own) cover was blown, otherwise you would all have been killed.       When the first shot was fired, Bucky ran to you, taking out the two gunmen near you before you could.       “Let’s go,” he commanded as he grabbed your hand and pulled you forward. Another guard stands in your way, firing off three shots. Bucky holds his metal arm to block the bullets, but they never find their target. The guard stares in confusion as the bullets hang still in the air three inches from Bucky who turns around to look at you. Your face is serious, your eyebrows turned down in concentration. You wave the hand you’ve held up to stop the bullets to the side and the tiny projectiles follow the same path. Then you raise your hand up. This time, it’s the man’s gun that flies upward and is quickly ripped out of his hands. With a wet crack of bone breaking, Bucky knocks out the formerly armed gunman with an easy right hook.       Bucky’s eyes look you up and down for injuries, and god you wish he would stop treating you like you were so fragile you’d break at the slightest effort.       “I told you I could take care of myself,” you say. Internally, you run a quick scan: your chest hurt, but not much, and you were still breathing relatively normal. You figured that as long as you leaned on your powers and not physical capabilities you no longer had, you’d actually make it through this mission alive.       “We gotta go,” Sam says making his way over to you, a gun from one of the guards in his hand. Bucky and Sam, in sync in ways only military men can be, take stock of the situation. Sam clears a path towards the exit with you and Zemo following while Bucky brings up the rear, carefully sweeping the area with the scope of his semi-automatic rifle for any more threats.         The four of you stop at the exit, trying to think through next steps.       “We may have a real problem now, so leave your weapons and follow my lead,” Zemo says. Before Bucky and Sam can argue, he adds, “If we arm ourselves now, we’ll be shot on sight.”       You make your way out onto the street again, nearly stumbling on the wet asphalt. Bucky steadies you with his arm and you don’t let go. Around you, phones begin to ping, and eyes underneath neon lights follow you wherever you turn.       You can feel in your bones what’s coming. So can the others as the four of you begin to walk faster.       “This is not good,” says Zemo just before the bullets start flying.       Zemo takes off in the opposite direction, but you don’t have a chance to stop him as Bucky pulls you low, then into a sprint. You ignore the way your feet hurt and your lungs burn as you struggle to keep up.       “Come on!” Bucky yells over his shoulder to Sam.       “I can’t run in these heels,” Sam yells back, sprinting to catch up and taking the spot to your right.       Tell me about it, you want to say, but your breaths are coming in harsher now, and speaking would only waste more of the precious air in your scarred lungs. Running had been the most difficult thing to do since you were injured in the fight against Thanos, and even with your best effort, you were slowing them down.       The rumble of motorcycles begins to follow you as you continue to race down abandoned railroad tracks. With a flick of your hand, you make spikes out of the rusted metal, causing the motorcycles to veer off course. It slows down your pursuers, but not by much as they begin to chase you on foot. The three of you duck into an alleyway, and the shots are fired so quickly, you almost miss what happens. An armed man had been standing at the end of the alleyway, and was shot by Zemo before the he could even aim. Then two shots came from an open window in the graffitied brick building lining one side of the alley. Both shots landing squarely in the chests of the two men who were chasing you.       The second those bodies hit the ground, you double over. You cough so violently you think a lung might come out, and you just can’t seem to catch your breath.       Distantly you can hear Zemo and Sam saying something, but it’s hard to make out what over the sound of your own gasps for air and the pain in your chest that makes your head dizzy.       “Sweetheart, you need to slow your breathing,” Bucky whispers in your ear. “Just like we practiced.” You can feel his hand on your back, drawing soothing circles. You take a moment to catch your breath.       When it feels like the ground beneath you is finally still, you straighten up, Bucky’s arm tight around your waist to help keep you steady.       “You good?” Sam asks, but all you can do is give him a small nod.       “Well this is too perfect,” someone speaks from behind you as they make their way up the alley. You know that voice. You fought alongside the person to whom it belongs to. Sharon.       “Drop it, Zemo,” she demands, pointing her pistol at him. He does as he’s told and puts his arms halfheartedly in the air. “You cost me everything.” Not once does she lower her gun, and you realize that she might not be talking just to Zemo.       “Sharon, wait. Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead,” Sam explains quickly.       “That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.” Sharon cocks her head to the side, blond hair swishing slightly in the wind. You can tell by the look on her face that she’s not had an easy go of it, and you berate yourself for not checking in on her after she had helped save Bucky.       “So what are you doing here?” Bucky asks.       “I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” she tells him, then turns her attention to Sam. “I also took the wings for your ass, so that you two could save Bucky’s ass from him.” She nods to Zemo, regarding him with more venom than you do. “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up, so I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”       “Hey, don’t blow that smoke at me, I was on the run, too.”       “Was. Is. Big difference,” she pauses, voice rising a bit when she next speaks. “I don’t talk to my family anymore. I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”       “Sharon,” you cough, throat still sore from your run through Lowtown. “Sharon, we’re sorry, but we need your help.” She laughs at that. “Please,” you plead. She looks you up and down. You’re hunched over, cradling your ribs with an arm wrapped around yourself. You’ve not had it easy either. Two sides of the same damned coin of pain and suffering.       “This isn’t over,” she says. “I have a place in High Town. You’ll be safe there for a while.”       Sam pushes Zemo ahead, and the four of you follow her. —       The drive to High Town is tense. Sharon gives no further details of her life since stealing Steve’s shield and Sam’s wings. Not even Zemo dares to make a comment.       He was right about the stark difference between High Town and Lowtown, though. The neon lights still prevailed, but the further you drive away, the less guns you see.       Sharon’s place is nice, even by High Town standards. Art work lines the walls and is scattered throughout the room in well lit, secure glass cases. Sam makes a crack about how breaking the law has made her quite successful, and he’s right. This is stolen art. Not a route you ever expected her to take, but with her talents, you’re not surprised that she seems to excel at this life.       She leads you into a living room, offering fresh clothes for the party she’s hosting in an hour. One that serves as much as an auction as it does drunken dance hall. The first thing you do is change into more comfortable shoes.       “Karli Morgenthau and at least seven others have taken the serum,” Sam begins to explain.       “You guys really should steer clear of all of this, for your own safety.” Sharon gives you a pointed look.       “We know it’s a risk, but we’re not gonna leave until we find the one who cracked the code.” Sam is confident the group of you will succeed. These things had a way of working out in your favor, but what would success look like? You would all surely be in trouble for breaking Zemo out of prison, and handing over someone who could make super-soldier serum to the government sounded disastrous.       “We got a name. Wilfred Nagel,” Bucky offers up the information.       “Nagel works for the Power Broker,” Sharon replies, standing to pour herself a drink.       “We need your help, Sharon,” Sam says.       After a bit of back and forth between them, Sharon agrees to a deal: she helps the four of you find Nagel and Sam will get her name cleared so she can move back to the States.       The party is the perfect place for her to start. Sharon is well connected, and she would be working those contacts all night while the three of you have a short reprieve. Sharon sure knew how to throw a party.       Booze and drugs flowed freely as people danced among priceless works of art. Bucky leads you through the crowd. He’s wearing a simple black suit and a fitted blazer, why Sharon had such clothes, you didn’t ask, but if you weren’t in Madripoor on an exhausting mission, and you and Bucky weren’t currently in a fight, this could be a fun date. Instead, the three of you take turns keeping an eye on Zemo, and when it becomes Sam’s responsibility, you leave the crowd to find a quiet corner to sit in.       There is a laundry room in the back of the building, beyond the crowds and works of art. You lock yourself in, and you get a few minutes of peace before there’s a knock on the door. You know it’s Bucky before you even open it.       “You okay?” he asks.         “Just needed some air,” you answer. Bucky reaches his right hand up to touch your cheek, then leans in to place a soft kiss of your forehead.       “I’m sorry,” he whispers when he pulls away. “I shouldn’t have said what I did on the plane.”       “Well, maybe you’re right, maybe I shouldn’t have come.” You hate to admit it, but that chase through Madripoor made you feel so weak.       “How are you feeling?” he asks, hand still softly touching your cheek.       “It still feels like something is sitting on my chest,” you tell him, rubbing the spot over your heart with your hand.       “This is what I was worried about.” Bucky pulls his hand away and places both of his on his hips, as if to scold you.       “I know, Buck, but I’m fine, honestly.” He gives you a disbelieving look, so you change the subject. “How are you?”       “You’re worried about me?”       “I’m always worried about you, Buck. You make it hard not to.” You reach out to touch his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm.       He sighs, “I promise, I’m alright.” It’s your turn to give him a look. He meets your eye and concedes. “Pretending to be the Winter Soldier again was… hard, especially with you there. I was worried I’d scare you.”       “You could never. I know you’re still my Bucky.”       “I am glad you’re here. I just wish it was safer for you.” His hand returns to your cheek.       “Well, I can’t go back home now,” you say, holding onto his arm to keep his hand in place. “I’m sure by now they know it was us that broke Zemo out of prison. The second I take a step back in the States, I’ll be locked up.”       Bucky lets out a long frustrated groan. To him, there were no good options here, but he’d rather have you there with him where he could protect you than anywhere else.       “We’ll fix this, together,” he decides. “And I promise, I’ll tell you all of my plans from here on out.”       You lean up to kiss him, and Bucky slides his arms around your waist to keep you there. Your worries melt away as Bucky deepens the kiss, teeth gently biting on your bottom lip. You pull him further into the laundry room, and he kicks the door shut behind you. Your back hits the washer. Bucky’s hands move from your waist to the backs of your thighs, then he lifts you onto the washing machine. You giggle as he sets you down, tugging on the hem of his shirt to untuck it from his pants. Bucky’s hands continue to wander, finding the back of your top and beginning to undo the ties that kept it in place. Both of your shirts are already off when the door opens.       “Really, guys? Couldn’t wait until after the party?” Sam chides.       “Get out, Sam,” Bucky yells, covering your body with his own as you laugh.       “Sharon has something for us, so hurry up and finish,” he calls as he closes the door.       “Guess we better go then,” you whisper. You touch your forehead to his. “I love you, Mr. Barnes.”       “I love you, too Mrs. Barnes.” He smiles.
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Thanks for reading <3 Tags!!
@my-patronus-is-a-raptor​
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jasminocano · 1 year ago
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I love this so much
Aching
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
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Summary: After Reader gives Bucky a massage, he realizes how much he likes her touch. // Or a friends to lovers story.
A/N - I’ve been working on this for like 3 months now lmao. This is wayyyy different than I originally sat out for it to be but that’s okay. I’m really proud of it and absolutely love it and I hope you guys do too. It’s really just a fluffy lil love story.
Warnings: language, sexual references, Bucky’s shoulder and phantom pain, touch starved Bucky, grumpy Bucky, but he has a soft spot for reader, some PTSD stuff, Bucky’s also anxious, and he’s dumb and doesn’t realize reader loves him too, teasing, drinking, takes place during and after TFATWS
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It all started with his shoulder. Because of course it would. Of course, amongst all the other shitty cards life dealt Bucky, chronic pain had to be in the deck. Unexpectedly, shoulder pain was apparently the rain that preceded a rainbow.
It felt like hell decided to take home there. An overall soreness, a dragging weight that felt like a boulder sat in his skin, along with an pricking sensation that was comparable to a hundred needles driving into his non-existent arm; which was a feeling he still couldn’t wrap his head around.
His spine felt twisted, convoluted by the 65 pounds of metal it upheld. He felt as if all the damn muscles in his back and neck were on the verge of giving out. This oh so common feeling resulted in a bad day. Bucky cursed the goddamn universe for giving him this daily predicament when painkillers were ineffective on him.
Also, the pain wasn’t ideal to endure in the midst of the chaos he’d gotten himself into. Between the flagsmashers and doing anything, any work he could to get a lead; Zemo being an conniving instigator, always trying to prod at Bucky’s head or give some kind of twisted sentiment to purposely offend someone; amongst many other undesirable circumstances from the past few weeks that he’d been repressing, Bucky’s threshold for irritation had been passed. He was just glad to finally take a seat and possibly bring his pain to a minimum.
You trotted into the open room, your attention falling upon the large figure slouched into the couch cushions. Your attention was on him most of the time anyways but your curiosity peaked at this particular moment.
Bucky wilted into the sofa, head flung backwards, eyes tightened shut and lips pursed into a thin line. His position looked like a poor attempt at alleviating discomfort. You could practically feel this stiffness of his body from where you where standing, as if he was the epitome of rigidity.
Bucky was utterly still besides the frequent expansion and collapse of his chest and the flaring of his nostrils each time air passed through. You watched his brows crease as he attempted to shift a bit, he shook his arm and rolled it in the air before letting it plop down on his stomach.
After your observation, you plodded past him, making a detour from your original route into the kitchen instead. You rustled through the cabinets to find what you needed, or more so what you thought would possibly cheer your friend up a bit.
You half way debated on wether you should actually bother Bucky or not. He’d been rather snappy the whole day. Words few and far in between, yet each one was laced with annoyance, leaving a sour punch to whom ever they were directed towards. There was a lack of his usual playfulness in his grouchy attitude.
However, you had a gut feeling about the cause of his increased moodiness, and felt that you could be of help. With that reasoning, you poured two glasses of Zemo’s whisky, then carried them towards the couch.
The sudden feeling of cool condensation touching his palm alerted the man to your presence. Bucky’s forehead crinkled. His nystagmic eyes followed your movements inquisitively, as settled to his right.
“What’s this?” He mumbled, staring down at the cup as if it were an oddity.
“A drink.” You stated the obvious and he gave you a peculiar look. “It’s not fuckin poisoned.”
“Oh good, I was so fuckin worried about that, you gave me a real scare.” Bucky sneered. “Not like any poison could hurt me anyways.”
You grinned at that and watched him take a mouthful. “You good?” You quieted your voice and provided a more caring, worried tone.
“I’m fine?” He shrugged, saying it as a question rather than a statement.
You rolled your eyes immediately, then took a sip of your own drink. “That’s a load of bullshit. You’ve been bitchy all day.”
Bucky screwed up his face, squinting his eyes at you as if you’d just offended him deeply. “No I haven’t.”
“Yes you have.” You mocked teasingly. “You’ve been in a shit mood, what’s wrong?”
He paused to glare at you, then spoke without breaking his interrogative stare. “Is that why you brought me a drink?”
“Maybe.”
“So if I agree, will you feel bad for me and keep ‘em comin? Or better yet, bring me snack, I’m kinda hungry.” He propositioned with a mini smirk. You playfully punched his leg at the request. “Ow!”
“I’m not your fuckin servant.” You gritted with faux anger but failed to restrain the smile that grew. “Seriously what’s up with you?”
“Nothing.” He broke his eye contact with you and shook his head.
“You’re a shitty liar, ya know. And you keep makin that one face.” You pointed out blandly.
“What face?”
“I don’t know, the one you make when somethin’s bothering you.”
He grunted, then rolled his eyes and swallowed the last of his liquor. “You’re dellusional.”
“And you’re a liar.” You shot back.
“Will you let me sit in peace?”
“If you tell me what’s wrong.” You counter offered.
Bucky sighed and licked his lips. “My shoulder and back hurt. Now will you quit fucking gripping at me?” He reluctantly revealed with a semi-nonchalant tone despite the highly contrasting body language.
Your lips set into a slight frown, him confirming what you thought the issue was. “Arm?”
“The one and only.” Bucky grumbled.
“Phantom pain too or just muscle?”
“Both.” His voice was now hushed, embarrassed more with every moment of this conversation.
“Set up a bit.” You commanded with the wave of your hand, you then stood up yourself and began to walk.
“What are you doing?” His features knitted together forming a scowl.
“Chill out.”
Your response only made him more skeptical of your seemingly spontaneous behavior. “No, what are you doing?”
“My god, Bucky relax. You’re gettin all defensive for nothing, ya big idiot.” You laughed as you strolled to the back of the sofa, right behind where he was seated.
You trailed across his back to find where metal ended through the fabric of his shirt. You then placed your hands onto the taut muscles of his shoulder and lower neck. There was no give to them, you’d merely rested your fingers there for a few seconds but could already feel the knots.
“You’re touching me, I have every right to-oh, oh fuck.” Bucky haulted his complaints with a blissful noise when you pressed your thumbs into the most strained area and began to move them in circular, forceful motions while your other fingers worked more lightly in surrounding.
“See? Not so bad. Figured it’d make you feel better.” You hummed.
You forced your digits deep into the knots, grinding at them to loosen up his body. You payed attention to multiple spots, all along the rugged path of where his arm began as well as his spine and middle back, even his other shoulder. You massaged each gently and took your time.
Throughout, he’d relaxed into your touch. The man released a few soft moans but when you reached a particularly tight spot around his ribs, he moaned rather deeply, sounding guttural.
“Woah Barnes, I think you’re likin this a little too much.” You laughed, still working into him.
“Fuck you.” He bit, almost breathlessly.
“Kinda sounds like you are fucking me.” You teased boldly, with a flirtatious undertone.
“Maybe I’m daydreaming it.” Bucky deadpanned.
“Oh good, how hot is dream-me naked, scale of 1-10?” You played along, trying to remain as blank as he did but amusement still poked through.
“Negative 20.” He bit his lower lip and exhaled through his nose, attempting to hold back the tiny laugh that almost escaped him.
“So hateful, I’m hurt.”
“Mm.” He grunted, the pushed his body further into finger tips, causing the entirety of your palms and forearms to linger on him.
It was an action he’d done sparsely throughout the massage. You’d readjust yourself and a few moments later, his back would press right into you once again, as if your fingers weren’t enough and the inch of air between your bodies was unacceptable.
At first it wasn’t on purpose, it was rather instinctual. The pure ecstasy your touch brought was subconscious but it grew into a forefront, hungry, craving for more. He was intoxicated on the way your gentle, warm hands took care of him. Touching him with a kindness and special affection that he hadn’t felt on his body since Steve, and even then very sparingly.
Bucky didn’t realize how dazed he’d become on the feeling until you pulled away. Until you ruffled his hair, in one final moment of contact and then said goodnight. Your sudden stop and disappearance left him inexplicably disappointed. His shoulder felt much nicer, much more relaxed, yet there was something in him that felt unattended to.
The following morning, that odd feeling still resided in him but grew in intensity when he saw you. Something about it made his heart pang, almost as if he missed you, like he craved you.
You’d called him out for staring, for standing in the middle of the floor still as a statue, watching creepily. Bucky just shook his head defeatedly and claimed to be tired. Once brought back to his senses, he also didn’t understand how his tiny crush had grown in intensity over night. How it went from liking you normally, to what he could only assume was yearning for your company.
Oddly, he suddenly wanted to be by your side at all times but was admittedly rather terrible at hiding it. He tentatively followed you around and always stood next to you on the day’s mission work. Sam even questioned Bucky privately about why he was trailing behind you like a lost puppy, which earned a him death stare.
Something in his head was pestering him to get closer, to find an excuse to spend time with you and it wasn’t letting him rest. So Bucky found himself in the doorway of your guest room, his hands frantically wriggling, sweat starting to form on the right one. You laid, sprawled out on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. You hadn’t realized he was there, so it wasn’t too late for him to back out, but fuck he couldn’t resist.
“Are you busy?” He asked, causing you to look up from your phone.
“Nah, what’s up?”
“My shoulder hurts.” Bucky stated awkwardly, but at least it was true, his shoulder did always hurt.
You smirked, knowing what he wanted. “My hands are magic, huh?”
“You’re mildly okay.” He scoffed.
“No, no. I’ve gotta be a real good masseuse to have mr James Barnes begging for more.”
Bucky shrugged. “Well, I’d rather ask you than Sam. Or psycho.”
“So I’m your favorite, is what I’m hearing?” You questioned playfully.
“Hell no, I hate you all equally.”
“Really? You like me and Zemo equally?”
“Good point….I like him better.”
You dramatically gasped and feigned offense. “I hope your shoulder hurts like a bitch.”
“It does.” Bucky stated, his tone not even sarcastic this time.
You laughed as you sat up and patted the bed. “Come here.”
Bucky felt the nervousness wash out of his body and internally cheered at your notion. He sat on the bed side and you positioned yourself on your knees behind him. You silently began to work your magic on his body, relieving tension every second and placing him in a quiet paradise.
He liked that about you, about spending time with you…the fact that you didn’t have to talk. Chatting wasn’t necessary to enjoy his company and he appreciated it, because if Bucky was honest with himself, conversing wasn’t a strength he possessed. Anything beyond mission talk or teasing, and his brain would shut down, taking it seemingly 1-3 business days to reboot.
You never pressured him into opening up more nor were you like everyone else, who made off handed comments about how he should be more social. You just understood and accepted, which graciously provided Bucky with a sense of comfort.
After a while, your hands slipped away and returned back to towards your own body. Bucky turned to look at you and you flashed him a tiny smile to indicate you were done.
He nodded in understanding and shifted a bit as if he was going to leave, however you spoke up. “Thinkin bout watchin a movie, you can stay and watch it with me if you want.”
“Yeah, uh, sure.” His agreement was quiet and monotonous.
When you adjusted yourself on the bed and leaned against the headboard, your bicep brushed against his. You settled close enough to his body that your arm remained lightly touching him and your thigh was about to ghost him. Any time you moved slightly, you’d somehow unintentionally touch him.
You seemed rather unbothered by the lack of personal space, your eyes were glued to the screen. Bucky’s were glued to you, a pounding startled his chest from the faint contact. So minimal but to him it felt so intimate.
Soaking in that tiny bit of shared space made a light bulb turn on in his brain. He
realized then what he was wanting so badly…to feel you.
He felt ashamed, he bit down his lip and a crimson color creeped over his face, but you didn’t notice due to your attention being elsewhere. His own head was screaming at him though, berating him for being a creep who wanted to touch his coworker.
It was like a craving though, something that wouldn’t die. Sure, he couldn’t ask without it being the awkwardest thing in the world and result in an upfront rejection. He certainly couldn’t just hold you without permission. But he could give himself a little taste right? It wouldn’t be so wrong to ‘unknowingly’ let his thigh skim yours if he shifted a bit to ‘get comfortable’.
So Bucky did just that, and you didn’t mind, you didn’t bat an eye, you stayed like that for the rest of the movie. He let himself have that tiny win, that itty bitty taste of the most delectable dessert. It’d suffice and fufill his need.
Except it didn’t.
The desire for you ate away at him over the next few days, it clawed up through his chest and was desperate to break free. Your normal presence wasn’t enough for some reason. It wasn’t enough to just talk with you, or sit next to you for a meal, or stay by your side on the mission.
He wanted to feel you. Bucky couldn’t look at you without thinking about it, without imagining your hand in his or your arms around his waist. This escalated to when his mind was too overwhelmed with demons, it started to comfort itself with illusions of you. Fantasies of you being there to tell him it’s okay, as you bring your warmth up against his body, tenderly putting him at ease with your compassion.
In those passing days, he started to accidentally bump into you in the hall way, or reach for something at the same time so your fingers would brush. As the mission continued, Bucky started to give you pats on the back when you did well, or elbow you when teasing. If he was walking beside you, he occasionally would swing his hand a bit so it’d ‘mistakenly’ graze yours.
Each time was like a short high, his mind turned to mush and his heart skipped a beat. He’d never show that these little ‘accidents’ had an effect on him. He’d sometimes have to grimace to hold back his impending smiles, to keep himself collected and not seem like a complete fool.
He started asking you to go on walks with him when he was bored, and eventually would even come to your guest room before bed to hang out.
That’s when he realized despite wanting to touch you so badly, he was okay with just looking, just observing and admiring you. He thought you were so beautiful and took in every part, all the littlest things, the way your nose crinkled when you laughed, the curve of your lashes and the way your eyes popped when light hit your iris. He liked your hair, and the way you slightly parted your lips when you were in thought. He appreciated the outline of your figure and the skin that showed when your shirt rid up.
He liked listening to you talk, your voice was melodic to him and your words always captivated his entire attention, nothing else could be more interesting than what you had to say. Anything that came from your mind was golden in his opinion. He thought you were the damn funniest person and loved how often you joked with him, you were sure to always bring a smile to his face. Bucky was gone for you.
Your friendship blossomed further, your bond was stronger than before. Thanks to you and Sam’s joint effort in re-exposing Bucky to socialization, he’d learned to come out of his shell over those weeks. He stopped being so reclusive, even if he stayed on the quiet side, he attempted to be around others because in small amounts, it actually made him feel good. He started sharing more of himself with you and Sam, even Sarah, allowing you all to get closer and pushing his fears aside. He started to laugh more often, it didn’t feel so foreign in his mouth anymore.
Much to Bucky’s surprise, he didn’t have to move past his invisible attempts at tactility because with time, you were the one who made the leap to further intimacy, and hell, he was glad. Glad to finally know what it was like to feel your warm embrace and even more so to know that you wanted it, you wanted him.
The first time you actually hugged him was after leaving Sarah’s house and parting ways at the airport. You dropped your luggage, then wrapped your arms tightly around him and snuggled your body up against his. It had caught Bucky off guard, he initially froze at the unexpected gesture before he slowly returned it. He thought his whole heart, his entire being, was going to melt into a puddle. You stayed in his arms for a bit longer than necessary, like you were savoring it as much as he was.
“For being so moody all the time, you give really good hugs”, is what you mumbled against his collarbone.
After that, hugs became a common greeting and goodbye between you two. They then transformed into more, you’d lay your head on his shoulder if you were seated next to him or mess with his hair, you’d even playfully wrestle with him.
The more open you were, the more relaxed Bucky became with fulfilling that craving he had. He started to put his arm around you, you took that as a notion to start cuddling with him at any given chance. You’d always nuzzle your head into his chest or call dibs on the position of big spoon. You became incredibly tactile, always touching each other, in any platonic form.
Then there was the first time you held hands.
Oh god, did that do Bucky in. It was at a PR dinner, celebrating Sam’s title of Captain America and giving him a grand introduction to the world. Pictures, interviews, all the good stuff. Beyond supporting your friend though, the two of you along with Joaquin were asked to come for good press as well. Cap’s crew needed to make their formal debut.
It was nice, the lavish food and elegant venue, the even gowns and tuxedos. It was an interesting change of pace for friends who typically hung out at home with some beers. It would’ve have been a perfectly nice time if wasn’t for three grueling reporters, who poisoned things with their nasty venom.
Comments and questions about the winter soldier went flying, the first were mild but they grew into much more vindictive words. It eventually was shut down, they got bored of hearing answers of how utterly normal Bucky was. He gave them no reaction, his demeanor was chillingly cool and unbothered.
On the inside he was writhing, a goddamn anxious mess, and with every question his head became more brutal of a place to be in. He was good at masking though, great, a talent even. The last thing he wanted was to make a scene, to give them a reaction, to be humiliated further by display how easily triggered he was.
You knew. He had no idea how but you did; you always did, you could read him like a book with merely a single glance. He swore you had some secret power or something, because logically you shouldn’t have been able to see how hurt and anxious he was; but you did.
You didn’t say a single word. You subtly reached under the table and took his hand. Your grasp was firm yet tender, your thumb soothed over his skin in circular ministrations. It was a private comfort, you reassured him without anyone else’s knowledge of it.
It brought him a sense of calm he couldn’t understand. There was no logic for how a simple hand on his could put him at such ease, more than that even. It was as if everything else just stopped, as if nothing mattered except the way your soft palm and delicate fingers transferred their affection and support to him, sending a bush of warmth to his heart and an explosion of dopamine in his brain.
He knew you had to feel something to in that moment. Anything. That was the only time he questioned if your touch was more than platonic, if he meant something more to you.
Bucky decided against that however. It was a silly little hope derived from the spindle of thread his own crush left behind. You wanting him just wasn’t viable, but a man could dream and also could take as much as he could get.
Bucky got as close to you as possible without pushing that boundary into romance that he knew you very much would not want.
He immersed in all little things, all the soft touches, heartfelt laughs, and allowed himself to pretend you loved him. Just for a moment each time, just to get that rush of serotonin that filled his brain and butterflies that filled his belly. It was nice to imagine even if it wasn’t true.
As the months started to pass by, you learned his soul, and he learned yours. Bucky hadn’t felt so open and free with a person in decades.
You were there on his good days. When he felt like going out in public, when he cracked lots of dry jokes and sparred with you. The days when he’d talk your ear off, ranting like crazy about how he hates rap music and how coke tasted better in the 40s.
But you were also there for the bad. The times when the missions were triggering, the times his nightmares got too bloody and his memories too violent. You were there for the panic attacks, the days he didn’t even feel like showering, the moments he got too angry and aggressive.
You’d seen it all and never judged, still stayed by his side. With tears running down his face, as his body quivered, you had cupped his jaw warmly and brushed your thumb over his teardrops. You cradled the back of his head and brought it into your chest, holding him tightly when he broke down more after your gentle gesture.
Being with you, even just talking to you over the phone, was equivalent to coming home after a long day of work. Bucky loved you with his whole being.
He never let himself be delusional though, he had to remember that you were just friends. He simply pushed down the detrimental thoughts that came along with that knowledge, he had too much negativity in that head of his already.
As long as you were in his life, it didn’t matter if you were his girl. You’d always be there either way and that’s all he needed.
Except Bucky didn’t take one thing into consideration.
He never thought about you getting a boyfriend, he never considered the idea of another man taking his spot in your life, taking you away from him. Until you told him you were going on a date that is.
Some random man you met in a coffee shop and he gave you his number. You’d apparently been texting for a week when he asked you out. Bucky was appalled at the idea of you being interested in a guy you’d met once. Appalled and green with envy, that is. However he’d told you over the phone, “that’s great”, and pretended as if he supported it.
But it ate at him. Nagged him to death, the idea of you sitting at dinner with someone else, finding him handsome and charming, the absolute nightmare it would be if you liked him. That random getting to learn about about you, to hear you talk about yourself, to admire your beauty, and god forbid, touch you in anyway.
The more Bucky imagined the possibilities, the more chill he lost. By the end of the week, he’d drove himself berserk, and Sam was the one to suffer a two hour phone call filled with Bucky’s confessions (which he was already well aware of) and dramatic ranting. All of which, he responded to with “Man, quit flipping your shit and just tell her you like her.”
Which was great advice. In theory, that is, because Bucky had decided that it was a set up for a soul-crushing rejection that he wouldn’t be able to withstand. So he said he’d do nothing. He’d just suck it up, let you have your date, and try to be happy for you.
He lied. Bucky changed his mind on a whim that Saturday night and found himself knocking at your door, which soon was opened hesitantly.
“Uh, hey?” You said, staring at him quizzically.
Bucky pushed past you and let himself in your apartment, while you stared in bewilderment.
Your eyes narrowed as they followed his form, you then shut the door behind him, still a bit surprised at his sudden appearance. “Why are you here?”
Bucky looked you up and down, real slow with his eyes taking their time on each part of you as if he was hypnotized by you. “You look nice.” He mumbled, still dazzled by how pretty you looked.
“Thanks, answer my question.” You insisted hastily and it brought him back to his right mind.
“Wanted to hang out with you.” Bucky blankly answered and shrugged before sitting on your couch.
“Okay, for one, I’ve told you a thousand times that you can’t just show up here and put me on the spot. And two, you know I have a date tonight.”
“And?”
Your eyebrows crumpled in half annoyance and half disbelief at his audacity. “And I gotta be at the restaurant in like 20 minutes. Get your ass out so I can lock up.” You demanded, gesturing at him then the door.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna stay right here.”
Getting impatient with his antics, your voice rose to a higher pitch. “Whatever, stay then. Don’t eat my whole fucking fridge again and if you leave before I get back, lock the door.” You told them proceeded to start gathering your belongings.
“You shouldn’t go, Y/N.”
“What?”
“Cancel your date.” Bucky suggested in a way that sound more like an order.
“Why?”
He stared at you for a moment, racking his brain for a reason. “Because…it’s not safe.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” You sighed exasperatedly.
“It’s dangerous. That guy could be a creep, kidnap you or something.” Bucky suggested with loads of faux concern, evidence in his lack of eye contact.
You aggressively laughed and accompanied it with an incredulous head shake. “I’m a goddamn avenger and I’ve kicked your ass multiple times, I think I can hold my own. You do realize how absolutely absurd you sound, right?”
“What if he’s secretly some kinda super villain? Then what are you gonna do?” Bucky countered, eyes widened theatrically.
“Yep, Jacob the accountant is totally super villain material.” You sassed.
“I don’t trust him. Even his job is criminal cause it’s so boring. That’s why I’m not letting you go.” Bucky’s tone shifted to one more serious and angry, as did his facial expression.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about.” You spat then rolled your eyes and picked your purse up. “And I don’t know why you care about who I date so much but I’m gonna be late, goodbye Bucky.”
“Hold on a minute.”
“No!”
You slid past him through the door way and trotted towards the elevator. He failed so miserably in his attempt but he couldn’t just let you go. He’d rather lose you knowing he tried than to just give you away to another man. It was now or never.
“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself and ran after you.
Bucky grabbed you by the arm and pulled you in, the his lips crashed quickly onto yours. His tongue dipped on to yours and they weaved together. He melted into you, It was rushed, passionate and also a bit messy, but most of all, full of pent up affection. It poured out of Bucky and onto you during every second his mouth was on yours.
There was a moment of silence afterwards, just the two of you becoming lost in each other’s soft, adoring gaze. Neither one knew what to say. You were too stunned to speak, Bucky was too afraid of the repercussions of his own impulsivity. He knew he had to explain himself though, so he put on his best brave face.
“Y/N, I can’t let you see another guy because I- god…I-I’m in love with you, okay?” He broke out anxiously, every little fear being evident in his eyes.
You looked at him through your lashes with a loose smile. “It’s about time.”
“What?”
“I didn’t actually like that dude, I just thought you weren’t interested and figured I should try to move on. Luckily, I was wrong.” You laughed and then said more tenderly, “I’m all yours, Bucky, I always have been.”
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antiquarianfics · 1 year ago
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The Best Things Take Time
Bucky has a code. You manage to crack it.
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A/N: This took me so long because I wasn't really sure how I wanted to go about it. I'm pretty happy with it, I think. Also, my first request! I hope I did your brain-child justice. :) Warnings: Mild language. Based on this request. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.
You do not have permission to repost or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.
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Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date—even with Sam and Yori pushing him all the time. His triggers are gone, yes, but he is starkly aware that he still has a long way to go before he might be considered ready to give time and energy to another person on a daily basis. However, if there is anyone in the world that makes him reconsider his own rule, it’s you.
The two of you first formally met when Steve, Sam, and yourself finally tracked him down. You were kind to him, but you kept your distance. He never made many attempts to speak with you, but the short interactions he did have with you were short and clinical. He never asked, but he’s pretty sure you’re afraid of him—of what he’s done.
Despite this assumption, Bucky takes note of the way you drop everything to help him time and time again. You back him in Washington, you back him in Siberia, you back him in Wakanda, and you back him in Washington in the second go-round. He is appreciative—very much so—but he keeps his distance regardless. After all, he shouldn’t risk losing an ally by something as silly as small talk.
Things begin to change, though, when he runs into you at the airport. Both him and you felt the need to get on Sam’s back about giving up the shield.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, a little indignantly. You cringe a little at your tone, but you brush it off nonetheless.
Bucky shoots you an annoyed look before turning to Sam.
Throughout the mission to track down the Flag Smashers, you and Bucky bicker (even more than Sam and Bucky do). You challenge him on every opinion he shares, poke fun at every misstep he takes, and side with Sam for the sake of disagreeing with him. He returns the favor, and he ignores the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth.
Your interactions are not particularly pleasant, sure, but they’re existent—which is progress.
“Does he always stare like that?” Walker asks Sam, eyeing Bucky uncomfortably.
“You get used to it,” Sam replies.
You glare at Walker. His attitude towards you and your boys bothers you. His entitlement to Steve’s shield and name bothers you. He bothers you.
“Does she always stare like that?” Walker asks, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Only when douchebags harass my friends,” you deadpan.
You are plenty aware this is the first time you’ve called Bucky your friend, and you can tell he is too by the way his eyes shift from Walker to you. You’re not aware, though, that your concession of friendship serves as the push he needs to talk to you more.
It takes time, but over the next few weeks, Bucky manages to get you to open up. He’s surprised with himself by how he’s willing to talk to you; after all, people are usually trying to get him to talk.
Bucky finds out that you’re actually not as reserved as he thought, but you had heard both Steve’s stories of before and multiple people’s accounts of after. Your distance, you admit, was a consequence of you trying to give him space when everyone else was crowding him. Your teasing and bickering with him was a consequence of trying to create said space. The revelation makes Bucky’s heart clench: no one has made him feel so cared for in a long time.
Bucky sticks by his no dating rule, though. After all, you may be friends, and you may be acting nicer to him lately, but there’s no way you like him like that.
Or, at least he thinks so until Louisiana.
“Hey, Sarah,” Bucky says, flashing a charming smile at her from where he sits next to Sam and yourself on the dock.
“Hey!” You smack his chest with the back of your hand. “No flirting with Sam’s sister.”
He lets his attention shift to you, and he can’t help the surprise. He’s aware that you could just be enforcing Sam’s demand from earlier, but you’re so adamant. He thinks maybe he sees a flash of jealousy in your eyes, but he thinks, too, he might just be seeing what he wants to see.
Sam and Sarah continue to bicker before she shoos the three of you away from the boat. Sam and Bucky step onto the dock and begin to walk away before you, and they keep walking even when Sarah stops you.
“Subtle,” she says, smirking at you. You wave her off, your face heating up with a blush.
“Shut up,” you say, embarrassment entwined with each syllable.
Bucky thinks maybe—just maybe—you might like him back.
Looking back on the last few years, Bucky can hardly believe the journey you and he had been on. Being so distant most of your time together in the first few years, and then being so rude to each other the next few, and then needing a push from the Wilsons to actually do anything about your feelings… it was interesting, to say the least.
He remembers the day you agreed to leave Louisiana with him. It was an impulsive decision, but it led to the first time the two of you had truly been alone together. It led to inside jokes and deep conversations. It led to a genuine friendship.
“I’m headed out tomorrow,” Bucky informed you and Sam.
The three of you were sitting on the porch of Sarah’s house, conversation flowing from friendly jests, to Karli, to the boat, to whatever else. Your head shot up to stare at him, eyes widening.
“What? Why?” Your tone was a little panicked. Bucky raised his eyebrows at your tone. Sam laughed, and you shot him a glare.
“I don’t want to overstay my welcome, Doll,” he said. Ever since the incident with Sarah, he’d let a few pet names for you fall from his lips, and he smugly noted the way they made you squirm.
“Oh.”
“Well!” Sam exclaimed, clapping his palms on his knees as he stood. “I’m gonna go check on Sarah and the boys while you,” he pointed at the two of you in turn, “figure whatever is going on here out.”
You protested, but Sam was gone without another word. Neither one of you spoke for a moment, and you chewed on your lip.
“You’re really going?” You asked shyly.
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“You can come with me, if you want,” he offered before he can think better of himself.
Your eyes shot to his, analyzing his face for any sort of jest. He seemed sincere, and once you decided he wasn’t pulling your leg, you responded.
“Okay.”
He remembers the day the two of you finally addressed that you were more than friends. Bucky, of course, has a no dating rule, and you? You had no such thing, but you weren’t dating either. In fact, you hadn’t since before Karli and the Flag Smashers showed up.
Bucky and yourself were at a bar, drinking and laughing with one another. He was sober, of course, but you were a little tipsy. You had a dopey smile on your face that he thought was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He still thinks your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
That’s when a young woman sauntered up to the bar. She was gorgeous; her long, black braids reached her waist, her lips were painted a bright red color, and she wore a halter top that left little to the imagination.
“Hi,” she said, grabbing your attention, shooting you a flirtatious smile.
“Hi!” You said, the alcohol making you friendlier than you usually are.
“I saw you across the bar, and I was jus’ wonderin’, would you wanna grab a drink with me? Maybe dance a lil’?” Her eyes dragged down your body and back up to your eyes.
Your eyes widened and you blushed.
“Oh, uh! T-thank you! I’m flattered, but, uh, I got my guy right here, and I kinda like him too much to date!” You sort of yell-whispered the confession to the girl.
She glanced behind you to Bucky whose eyes had also widened in shock, his mouth hanging open a little. The woman laughed and touched your shoulder comfortingly.
“‘s alright,” she assured. “Was worth a shot, though.”
She turned to Bucky then.
“Yo, congrats, man. You’re a lucky guy once you two talk that through.”
With that, she had left, and you turned around to Bucky.
“Look,” you said, more sober sounding than you’d been since the two of you arrived at the bar. “I don’t know what you think this is, or what you want it to be, but I’m all in if you are.”
Bucky leaned forward and kissed you without a second thought.
And he remembers the moment he decided he was going to marry you, if you’d have him.
The two of you were sitting on the couch in your shared apartment; after about two years of dating, you insisted you live together.
“Buck, you’re always here. All your stuff is here. I don’t think you’ve stepped foot in your apartment in a month. You’re just wasting money on rent at this point.”
You were leaned into his side, eyes glued to the tv screen. The two of you were watching The Princess Bride (it’s one of the many movies you insisted was so culturally significant that he had to see it). It was the way you would turn to him at your favorite parts, gauging his reactions to see if he loved it like you did; the way you would mouth the most iconic lines along with the characters; and the way you would sigh contentedly and cuddle further into his side at the romantic scenes that really pulled the realization from deep within him. And, perhaps, it was the way you produced the most ridiculous voice to say "Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us here today!" that truly brought the idea of marrying you to the forefront of his mind. Regardless, he knew he wanted you around for the rest of his already over-extended lifetime.
Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date, and he decided late in his life as a free man that he wasn't going to ever try and date anyone other than you. So, here he finds himself, kneeling on the ground in front of you with a ring extended towards your person, and hoping you'll say yes.
"Sweetheart, I know we've had a lot of ups and downs. We met when I wasn't truly myself, we got together when I was still figuring out who I am on my own—without Steve, without HYDRA—but no matter what, you've been there for me. You're still here for me.
"You deserve the world, Doll, and I want to give it to you. I want to be here for all your ups and downs, and I want to spend my life being to you what you've already been to me.
"You're my partner, you're my best friend, you're the love of my life. And if you'll have me, I'll be your king, if you'll be my queen. I'll be your husband, if you'll be my wife.
"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?"
You let out a laugh through a sob, pulling your hand to your face to quickly wipe your tears away, and you nod vigorously. You drop to your knees, pulling Bucky's face into your hands, caressing his cheek gently. Smiling, you respond.
"James Bucky Barnes, of course I'll marry you."
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rosepetalsinwinter · 9 months ago
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Five Years That Felt Like a Millennium (2) — Bucky Barnes
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Pairing: tfatws!bucky x reader
Word count: 7,579
Summary: Baby Girl isn't doing too well after seeing Quentin.
Warnings: illusions and mention of violence, abuse, manipulation, and cheating, self-deprecation, fluff, flirting, angst
Note: I apologize for my absence. The response to the first part has been unbelievable! Thank you all so much. I hope I can do it justice.
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Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi
Main Masterlist │Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3
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Happy Reading! 💜
Bucky didn't know a person could cry so much. Surely, the body must have surpassed a threshold ages ago for maximum fluid expulsion, but it seemed unlikely. Tears ran unbidden down Baby Girl's face, soaking into her white camisole, still wet from the lake. At least her body no longer wracked with sobs, which was a small accomplishment, he supposed.
He filled a glass with cold water. "Here, drink this."
Baby Girl's movements were almost mechanical as she took measured sips, slowly draining the glass. She stared at her reflection in the crystal, then abruptly stood, making Bucky hastily step back. Barefoot and half-dressed, she made for the front door.
Bucky blocked her path. "Where are you going?"
She went around him and reached for the handle, but Bucky intercepted her just in time, pulling her by the wrist. Her eyes were unfocused and wild, darting this way and that. "Hey!" She froze. "Hey," he said again, softer and with considerably less force. "What's going on in that smart brain of yours, huh? What are you thinking?"
"I need to find Quentin," she gulped. "I need to apologize to him. I need to make things right before he—"
She choked on her words, but Bucky knew her enough by now to predict what she would say next. "Before he what? Before he hurts Sam?"
Her face crumpled. "Maybe if I get down on my knees and beg, he'll forgive me, and things can go back to the way they used to be."
Bucky felt his previous anger return. Quentin Beck was a goddamn asshole because, in the span of a few minutes, he had managed to turn a bright and bubbly soul into an inconsolable mess.
"Is that really what you want?" he asked. "You want things to go back to the way they used to be?" Bucky already knew Baby Girl's answer, but he felt it was imperative for her to acknowledge out loud.
"No," she croaked. "Not really, but I don't have a choice. Quentin will hurt Sam and his family."
Bucky wiped the fresh tears from her face, letting his hands linger on her cheeks. "And what about you? He's hurting you. Are you not Sam's family?"
Baby girl began crying anew. Bucky carried her to the couch and held her close, letting her tears run down his bare skin. They sat like that until her breathing eventually evened, and her eyes drooped close. Bucky didn't dare move. Baby Girl was cradled in his arms and against his neck, legs stretched on the couch.
His eyes began to close, sleep slowly taking over, and he was going to let it. They both needed rest after the day's events, but sleep wasn't in his fortune. Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket, and he startled awake, awkwardly maneuvering around to retrieve it without disturbing Baby Girl.
It was Sam. Bucky glanced down at the sleeping form in his arms. Dried tears painted her face, her eyes were puffy, and her nose red. Bucky's heart lurched in his chest, and he made a hasty decision—promise be damned, Bucky would fix this for her.
He answered the call. "Hey, Sam." And told him everything .
"Sam?" Bucky asked, after Sam had been quiet too long.
Sam sounded wretched with grief. "I knew something was wrong. I just never imagined..."
Bucky sighed, already anticipating the blame game. A family trait, he considered. "It's not your fault. Quentin Beck is to blame, and he will pay for his actions, I promise you." Though Bucky couldn't see him, he imagined Sam nodding his frustration. "Do you think you could get in contact with Congressman Lockhart?"
"Congressman Lock—why?"
"He owes me a favour," said Bucky, not mentioning that he had saved Lockhart's life. "How much are you willing to bet that Lockhart has met Quentin Beck before, and that Beck has probably left a less-than-savoury impression on the Congressman?"
"I don't understand."
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Sam."
Sam was impressed. "I'll ask Torres to get us in contact."
Bucky smirked, feeling a satisfaction spread over him at the thought of Quentin Beck rotting in a jail cell. "You do that. When do you think you'll be back?"
Baby Girl shifted in his arms, and Bucky softened his voice. "Day after tomorrow? Alright, keep me updated." He ended the call.
"Who was that?" came a groggy voice. Baby Girl's eyes were closed, and she was in the process of waking up.
"Sam," Bucky answered, adjusting her in his arms. "His business is taking longer than usual. He and Sarah will be back in a few days.
Baby Girl pushed away from Bucky, sat up next to him, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her eyes trailed to his chest and widened in mortification. "Shit, I'm so sorry. I drooled all over you."
When she reached over to wipe him clean, he grabbed her wrist. "Why do you make it a habit to apologize for things out of your control?"
She suddenly jerked away from him, putting ample space between them. "I can hardly help how I feel. If I feel sorry, I apologize."
"Well, don't." Bucky stretched his legs, groaning at the relief. "I'm a grown man," he teased, wiping his chest with the back of his hand. "I can handle a little drool."
Baby girl looked down at her palms, forlorn and despondent. "I'm a mess," she muttered.
"Yes, you are," Bucky responded quietly. She jerked her head in surprise, expecting him to dispute her. But she didn't need his false reassurances any longer. Bucky wanted the full weight of her circumstances bearing down on her so she might escape from the haze of melancholy and finally fight back.
Bucky looked out the window at the setting sun. It cast a beautiful golden glow over the two of them. "You should change into something comfortable," he told her. "There's a lot to talk about."
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"Quentin was in one of my electives at school." Baby Girl was freshly showered and changed, wearing Bucky's sweats because she was out of clean clothes. They were enormous on her frame, which suited her well.
Bucky had also changed and was sitting across from her on the kitchen table, a warm cup of tea in his hands. It was something floral with a bitter note. He took his plain while she drowned hers in honey.
"Abnormal Psychology," she continued, "which is ironic because I diagnosed him with narcissism a few years into our relationship. I never told him, obviously. It wouldn't have ended well."
The conversation—long overdue—produced a painful pit in Bucky's stomach. He recognized it as suppressed rage, slowly building in potency and power. Bucky took a large sip of his tea, letting it burn his tongue so he might focus on anything other than the need to punch Beck's face.
"I tripped over his bag. He helped me up; apologized, and asked me to dinner."
Bucky couldn't help how bitter he sounded. "And you said yes."
She looked at him with dead eyes. "I wish I had. Then my life wouldn't have turned into a Shakespearean tragedy."
"That seems a bit bleak," Bucky snorted.
"But isn't it?" she implored. "Bleak? He was my first serious boyfriend; I moved in with him after two weeks and quit my job after a month. He didn't say 'I love you' until I threatened to leave him when I found out he was cheating. I pretended to look the other way when I found another girl's bra in our bed. I laughed when I saw lipstick stains on his collar. I gave him my virginity on my birthday, the day after I found out he cheated on me again. If that isn't bleak, if that isn't a tragedy, then what is? Perhaps it's the fact that I made excuses for him the first time he hit me. I told myself he was aiming for the wall, and I got in the way of his fist, but let's be honest, I was deluding myself."
Baby girl took a deep breath and dug her nails into the table. Her previous sorrow was replaced with unbridled anger. "I recognized all the signs. I knew he was using me—manipulating me! He even said so himself. We were at a party, and his friend said I was 'quite something.' Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean! Quentin said, 'She is, isn't she? But I gotta tell you, I'm not with her for that brain of hers.' I was standing right next to him! He and his friends undressed me with their eyes, and I just stood there and smiled!"
Bucky felt his rage simmering—at Beck, at the situation, at her . "Why are you blaming yourself? It's not your fault!"
Baby Girl pushed away from the table and paced around. "Don't!" she shouted. "Nothing you say will make this okay, Bucky. Nothing you say will make what I did okay!"
Bucky stood up as well, breathing heavily. He had known her less than a week but already felt burning concern on her behalf. "And what did you do?"
"Nothing!" she screamed, and her shrill voice echoed throughout the empty house. "I did nothing! Quentin threatened Sam, then once Sam blipped, he threatened Sarah and the boys, and I knew it wasn't a bluff because he had the connections to back him up. I knew, because I'm the one who helped him get those connections in the first place!"
Bucky sucked in a quick breath. "What connections?" Baby Girl had calmed somewhat after her brief yet brutal rant, and she sat down at the table, sipping her tea.
"What connections!" Bucky almost shouted.
Baby Girl startled. "I don't know! Businessmen, stockbrokers, a lot of Wall Street types. They paid attention to him when he had a pretty girl on his arm."
"Was that all?" Bucky probed.
Baby Girl shook her head. "There were a lot of government officials, too. I told you, remember? FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, Senators, UN spokespersons, congressmen, federal court judges—"
"Repeat that."
"Federal court—"
"No!" Bucky interrupted again. "What you said before."
"Congressmen?" Baby Girl huffed in annoyance. "I don't understand why that stood out to you the most. Are federal court judges not impressive enough for you, Bucky?"
Bucky ignored her snark and sat across from her. "Do you happen to know a Congressman Lockhart?"
Baby Girl paused before taking a sip from her cup. "Surprisingly, yes. Mr. Lockhart left a lasting impression when he didn't try looking down my dress every few minutes or shoving his hand up my leg."
"That's disgusting," he frowned.
"That's life," Baby Girl retorted. "Trust me, I had it better than most women."
Bucky shook his head, hating how she downplayed her struggles. "That's not okay."
Baby Girl scoffed without heat. "Like things were so much better in the forties. Right, Sergeant Barnes?"
Bucky ignored any feelings the utterance of his title from her lips brought forth. "I didn't stand for that then, and I don't stand for it now."
Thankfully, she seemed to have mercy on him and let the topic slide. "He didn't seem to like Quentin much; Lockhart. He asked me a lot of questions, and I think he got suspicious when I couldn't answer anything."
"Like what?"
"Like what I do for work, my interests, how I met Quentin. I couldn't tell him anything without revealing how abusive Quentin was. He especially didn't like it when he found out I was Sam Wilson's adopted kid sister."
Bucky was intrigued. "What did he say?"
"Nothing. He ignored Quentin for the rest of the event, but right before it ended, he pulled me aside and..." she trailed off.
"What?" Bucky encouraged her.
Baby Girl looked at him with shame and guilt swimming in her irises. "Congressman Lockhart told me I was making a mistake. He told me Quentin was using me because of my relation to Sam Wilson. He told me men like Quentin were rotten to the core, and I should run the other way and never look back." She gulped. "I should've listened to him."
Bucky shook his head. "You made a decision. You couldn't have known."
She didn't hear him, seemingly playing the scene in her mind. "Then the strangest thing happened. Congressman Lockhart called a few days later to meet about the project Quentin had proposed. Quentin was ecstatic, as you can imagine. He was overly sweet with me that day." Her brows puckered in confusion. "But I never understood... Why warn me away from Quentin only to cozy up to him later?"
Bucky leaned back in his chair, thinking everything over, connecting the dots. "Congressman Lockhart is a good man," he said. "A good and clever man."
Baby Girl narrowed her eyes. "How do you know him anyway? What does he have to do with anything?"
Bucky hesitated. He didn't want to get her hopes up if his plan didn't work, but he also couldn't watch her beat herself up any longer. This girl, this beautiful and feisty girl, had Bucky wrapped around her fingers since she wrapped her arms around his waist that day on his bike. This girl, who laughed and cried and smiled and was never afraid to voice her opinion. This girl, who looked at Bucky with admiration in her eyes, who looked at his metal arm with gentle curiosity and without any of the disgust or malice he was used to. Who kept her questions light and discrete so as not to unsettle him. This girl, this beautiful and feisty girl, who made Bucky smile.
He would do anything for her. Even if it meant keeping his scheme a secret.
Bucky hesitated, not wanting to lie to her, but finding he had little choice. "I have a plan," he said. "To get rid of Quentin Beck for good."
And Bucky was presented, for the first time since their swim in the lake, a genuine and awe-filled smile, directed entirely at him.
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"Lemonade?"
Bucky swam toward the deck, hoisting himself from the lake. Baby Girl was sitting on the edge, letting her bare feet skim the cool water. "You take such good care of me," Bucky teased. He gave a playful shake of his head, sending droplets of water her way.
Baby Girl shrieked and raised her hands to cover her face. "You ass!"
With a chuckle, Bucky leaned back on his elbow, reaching for the drink.
"And to think I brought you sustenance!" Baby Girl pushed a plate of fruit toward him.
Bucky picked up a fruit with a deep purple flesh and examined it with suspicion. "Is this alien food? It looks like something you might find in Asgard."
Baby Girl stared in awe. "You've been to Asgard?"
Bucky was still looking at the teardrop-shaped product. "Not yet," he declared confidently and bit into the flesh. Bucky paused a moment, staring at Baby Girl before taking a larger bite. "What the fuck? Why is it so good?"
Baby Girl laughed. "What, you've never had a fig before?" She grabbed one for herself and showed him a better way to eat it. "You pinch it at the top. Split it open. Fold it over, and voila!" She popped it in her mouth, groaning as flavour burst across her tongue.
"I thought it was some weird kind of plum!" Bucky exclaimed, grabbing another.
"Nope, just a fig."
"Just a fig, she says," Bucky teased. "And what's this?" He threw a shiny orange fruit in the air, catching it just before it smacked Baby Girl in the face.
She took it from him with an unconvincing frown. " This —is a persimmon. You know it's ripe when it's ready to burst. I like to pinch the skin like this—" she demonstrated by making an incision with her teeth, "and suck the flesh." Baby Girl moaned in delight. "I missed this."
Bucky intensely observed her, paying close attention to a drop of persimmon juice on her lip.
"What? Is there something on my face?"
Bucky reached over to wipe the juice with his thumb. "You're a mess," he said hoarsely. Then, he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it off as she watched him. "It's sweet."
She stared at him, soft lips parted and breaths uneven. "Did you think it would be sour?"
Bucky shrugged and picked up one for himself, following Baby Girl's instructions and getting a proper taste. When he was halfway through his fruit and Baby Girl was still gawking at him, Bucky realized he had taken the flirting a bit too far.
Satisfaction crackled in his muscles, and he twitched out a smirk. It was only a small accomplishment that he had retained some of his frivolous ways, but he was still proud. "What else do you have for me?" he inquired loudly, effectively diverting her.
Baby Girl quickly composed herself, dropping the rest of her persimmon onto the fruit plate. "Watermelon and grapes."
"Does the watermelon change colours, and do the grapes taste like cotton candy?"
"Change colours—No!" Baby Girl gawped. "You have a strong imagination." She suddenly turned thoughtful. "I was thinking of grabbing the cotton candy grapes, though. But they're too sweet for me."
It was Bucky's turn to gawp. "I was being sarcastic. Do cotton candy grapes really exist?"
Baby Girl smiled. "They've been around a while. I'll get you some next time."
Bucky reclined on his elbow, resting his head in his hand. "Next time. I like the sound of that." He caught her eye and asked her the burning question. "So, you've decided to stay?"
Baby Girl pushed the empty glasses and fruit tray away, lying back on the deck. From this angle, with Bucky hovering over her, the sun didn't burn her eyes. She smiled a sad smile. "I don't really have a choice, do I?"
"You always have a choice," Bucky replied fervently. "We would never keep you against your will."
Baby Girl shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Quentin will always find me. He's possessive of his things."
"You're not a thing . And he doesn't deserve you."
"Maybe I deserve him."
Bucky looked into her bright eyes, thinly veiled with tears. He understood the feeling of helplessness—the intense guilt that followed. Even now, after being pardoned and making amends, Bucky couldn't stop guilt from seizing him in the dark hours of the night, when he was most vulnerable and exposed.
He often looked around and wondered if he deserved the life he had been given, this second chance that none of his victims had the fortune of. On more of a surface level, Bucky understood he was as much a victim as any other. A prisoner in his own body. He, and he alone, knew the struggle he had put up for almost twenty years before finally succumbing.
Bucky looked into her bright eyes, thinly veiled with tears, and saw himself reflected in them. He saw himself as a younger man—a better man—waging a war against invisible demons, and he understood. Trauma left its presence in various ways, and the evidence of it was scattered all across her vulnerable physique.
Bucky reached for a strand of her hair. "Sometimes, the hardest prison to escape from is the one we build in our own minds."
Baby Girl turned her head to look up at the sky. "That sounds like something you'd hear at the therapist's."
"And I'm giving it out for free," Bucky smiled.
They both said nothing for a short while, enjoying the sun, and soaking each other's company.
"He used to tell me I was beautiful every day." Her brows creased. "Well, not exactly. He never called me beautiful. He called me hot, and sexy, and fire—" she suddenly scoffed. "I hated that. 'You look fire.' One day, even that stopped. I remember thinking he didn't love me anymore because that's what attracted him in the first place."
Bucky played with her hair, letting her say what she needed to.
"Objectively, I know I'm attractive. I was told often enough by his friends. But I haven't felt pretty in a long time. And it disgusts me that I needed his validation to feel good about myself." Baby Girl took a deep breath, shaking slightly from the overload of emotions. "Sorry."
Making sure she was looking at him, Bucky leaned his head down and kissed the corner of her mouth. Her skin was soft and warm, and he lingered a moment longer than necessary. "You're beautiful," he murmured, savouring her sweet scent. "Absolutely gorgeous."
Baby Girl stiffened under him, eyes widened with surprise, soft lips parted in exhale. She blinked furiously, grabbing her necklace in a white-knuckled grip—a dainty gold crescent moon with black detailing. "I feel very hot," she croaked.
Indeed, Bucky could hear her heart furiously pumping blood through her veins due to his risky kiss. He bent down and placed another, dangerously closer to her lips than the previous. "Let's cool you down then," he smirked, grabbing her around the waist and launching both of them into the lake.
He lost his hold on her as they submerged in the cool water. Bucky kicked off the bottom and broke the surface, looking around for her. Baby Girl emerged a moment later, mascara lines running down her cheeks and brows creased in a furious frown.
She wiped her face and scoffed, "You absolute ass!" When Bucky laughed at her, she splashed him with a large swell of water, which went into his mouth. He choked and sputtered between laughter, welcoming her gentle abuse with a large smile.
"You said you were hot," he rationalized. "I only wanted to cool you down."
Baby Girl intensified her attack, wading closer until she was on top of him, attempting to submerge his head. "You idiot!" she yelled. "My clothes are all wet!"
"Pity," Bucky sputtered, trying to grab hold of her, but she was relentless in her assault, flailing her limbs in reckless abandon.
"Die!" she shrieked, managing to clamber on top of him. She wrapped her legs around his neck and pushed him under, painfully pulling at his roots in the process.
All this time, Bucky could've easily subdued her. But where was the fun in that? When her legs tightened a smidge too much, and Bucky could no longer breathe, he finally put an end to their little game. He clasped his hand around her ankle and gave a gentle pull. Baby Girl fell from his shoulders with a dramatic scream, and realizing she had far surpassed his patience, began to swim away.
Bucky grabbed her ankle once more, keeping her in place. "You brat," he hissed. "I'll teach you a lesson."
Her panicked laughter brought a large smile to his face. Seeing her happy because of him; after the horrible week she'd had, filled Bucky with indescribable pride.
"No!" she giggled. "No more. I'm tired." In fact, she had stopped swimming and was struggling to stay afloat.
Bucky lifted her into his arms, ignoring her feeble protests. "That's enough games for today," he announced, carrying her dripping body inside.
After drying themselves and changing, they settled in the kitchen for dinner. Baby Girl sat on the island with her head resting on her arms, watching Bucky cook.
"Where did you learn that?" she asked when he expertly chopped onions without looking.
Bucky shrugged. "My Ma taught me the basics when I was little. She said cooking was a survival skill."
The girl smiled. "Smart woman."
"That she was," he sighed. "I learned some more in the army. Then, after I was pardoned, I found all this time on my hands and all these cuisines I wanted to try. YouTube is very handy for that."
"That it is." She walked to his side, watching him saute shrimp for the pasta. "You sure you don't want me to help?"
"Yeah, you sit your pretty ass down and relax."
"Yes, Chef!" Baby Girl saluted, not bothering to sit. She exclaimed in delight when Bucky flipped the pan one-handed.
"Wanna see something cool?" he smirked, grabbing a bottle of Cognac from the pantry. "Step back."
Baby Girl shuffled back, and Bucky poured some Cognac into the saucepan. He was so focused on the task that he didn't notice Baby Girl inch closer. Bucky tilted the pan, letting it catch fire, and a beautiful flame blazed powerfully in front of him. He turned, wanting to see her reaction.
She stepped away with a shout, arms raised to protect her face. The flame fizzled away as quickly as it had ignited, but she was still shaking in fear. She fell against the island counter, sliding to her knees.
Bucky turned off the stove and sank next to her, grabbing her arms. "What's wrong?" he worried. "Are you hurt?"
Eyes shut tight, she shook her head, but she was still trembling. "I'm okay."
Bucky didn't believe her. He lifted her up and set her on the counter, sliding between her spread legs. "Hey," he soothed. "What happened just now?"
She shook her head, eyes still closed. "I don't know, I—" Baby Girl exhaled shakily, trying to calm down. "I wasn't expecting—I thought. I'm scared of fire," she eventually admitted.
Bucky frowned. He vividly remembered the night of the bonfire, where she chased AJ and Cass around the large fire. There was no hint of fear on her face that night, no discomfort or hesitancy. He told her as such.
"I don't know. I think it's because the bonfire was out in the open. It was controlled and didn't feel as dangerous. But indoor fires..." She left the next part unsaid, but Bucky understood.
His flambé trick took her by surprise at such close proximity. For a moment, she was transported to her childhood home to relive that fateful night. Bucky hugged her tight, soothing her with kind words of affirmation. "You're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you."
She clutched tightly onto him, burying her face in his neck, breathing heavily into his ears. "Sometimes I think I was supposed to die that night," she whimpered, making Bucky freeze. "I was supposed to die in that house with my family. But I didn't. I'm scared the past will catch up with me one day to finish what it started."
Bucky held on to her tighter.
"I'm scared I'll find myself in that house again, and no one will be there to push me out the window."
"That won't happen," he promised. "I won't let it."
She briefly said nothing, and Bucky worried he hadn't done enough to reassure her.
"Have you seen the house?" she suddenly asked.
"No," replied Bucky, running his hands through her hair. "But Sam told me it was nearby."
Baby Girl hummed. "It's on the far side of the lake, covered by trees. We shared the lake with the Wilsons. Did you know the house is still there? What's left of it anyway. They fixed the damaged parts and put it up for sale. I found out two years ago."
Bucky pulled away from her, meeting her gaze. "It's been up that long?"
"Longer," she replied. "It went up for sale six years ago, but no one will buy it. Who wants to live in a house where an entire family died?"
Bucky wanted to correct her. "You're not dead," he wanted to shout. "You're not at fault. You deserve so much." 
"If I had the money..." she shook her head and dismissed the thought.
Would she buy the house if she could? he wondered. The home where she grew up and created happy memories with her siblings.
Bucky thought about his house in Brooklyn Heights, which had been turned into a poor excuse of a strip mall. The house where he had sleepovers with Steve. Where Rebecca hosted her friends, and Bucky hid underneath her bed to try and scare them. Where he snuck in his prom date, Dorothy, through his bedroom window when his parents were out of town. The time he and Steve were playing baseball on the street, and Steve hit the ball straight through the front window.
Would he buy that house if he could? If it hadn't been bulldozed? He decided he would. He had the desire, and he sure as hell had the money.
"There's no point in dwelling on the past," he parroted. Occasionally, his new therapist offered advice that Bucky kept close to his heart. "You're alive to see another day. Make the most of it."
Baby Girl smiled softly. "You always know just what to say," she teased. "I will."
Bucky was consoled by her steady heartbeat and easy manner. "It's a god-given talent," he shrugged, instantly rewarded by soft giggles and an unenthusiastic shove at his chest.
Once the adrenaline from the scare dissipated, Bucky finally noticed their proximity. Her thighs were bracketing his, and his arms were caging her body. Their breaths mingled in the air between them.
"You're very modest," Baby Girl croaked, jerking away.
Bucky hastily turned to the stove, turning it on and resuming making dinner. "With good reason," he replied, clearing his throat.
He chastised himself while the shrimps finished cooking. Baby Girl had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. Now was not the time to be sweet on her—hovering so close he could smell her shampoo and the scent of her skin.
Wait. Was she out of an abusive relationship? Baby Girl had emphasized that she was only with Quentin because he threatened Sam, Sarah, and the boys. Except, that was no longer an issue as a plan was underway. Bucky knew it, Sam knew it, but did Quentin? Did Quentin assume that his dismissal from the Wilson Residence a few days prior was a fluke? If Quentin returned thinking he could whisk her away as if she owed him anything, he would be sorely mistaken. Bucky would make sure of it.
But where did that leave them? There was obvious attraction—though Bucky was unsure if it was appropriate to act on, considering the circumstances—and they were legal adults, but the path forward felt very unclear. While Baby Girl hadn't shown any unpleasant reactions to Bucky's past, she hadn't particularly reassured him either that it did not bother her. Was it fair to her to be caught up in his mess, along with her own?
So many questions, and yet the answers felt out of reach. Bucky turned around. Baby girl was sitting on the kitchen table, and she gave Bucky a smile that answered at least one question. 
Did she trust him? Her smile said, "Yes. Yes, she did."
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Another day passed like all the others. Had it really been over a week since she arrived in Louisiana? Sam and Sarah were still away on "business," and the boys were still at their sleepover—ridiculous really—she knew it was summer break, but there had to be a limit. She and Bucky were still alone together.
Bucky. His name made her burn with embarrassment. Lately, anything and everything related to him made her temperature rise a few degrees. His smile, his presence, his proximity . His hands holding her tight to his chest. Embarrassment always closely followed such thoughts, though for reasons that deeply ashamed her because never, in the entirety of her relationship with Quentin, did she feel like this. Beautiful, and desired, and wanted, and free . Happy.
She had invested around six to seven years in her on-again, off-again relationship with Quentin Beck and never managed to blush as furiously as she did in the presence of Bucky Barnes. The White Wolf. War hero. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.
While most girls gushed over Captain America in high school, Baby Girl cut out pictures of his best friend from her textbook and plastered them inside her locker. It was a stupid girl crush, one she quickly outgrew as she matured into a young woman. However, the fascination remained. During the past week, this fascination had transformed from a small, barely there spark to a blazing fire. The gruesome analogy was not lost on her, yet it was the only way to vividly describe her deepening feelings.
Bucky Barnes had lit her heart on fire. And that terrified her. Not because she was afraid of men after her relationship with Quentin, and not because of Bucky's unfortunate past, but because of her unfortunate reality. What did she have to offer a man like Bucky Barnes? She had nothing. No job, no prospects, no backbone with which to confidently regard the world. She had spent six years with an abusive man, and she could have left at any moment—could have gathered the courage to trust her brother Sam to take care of all of them. She hadn't taken the opportunity when presented with it, and there was this man, who hadn't been given any semblance of reprieve, and he was stronger for it.
So, no. While there was obvious attraction between them both, she was not sure it was appropriate to act on. She could never deserve the likes of him.
The path ahead was unclear, but somehow she knew he would be there to guide her. And when he chucked her into the lake that evening, laughing loudly at her temper, she smiled back, hoping her face screamed, "I trust you. I do." 
After an uneventful dinner, Bucky sheepishly announced he had to leave. "I forgot I promised Carlos I'd help with his car."
She raised an unimpressed brow, fixing him with a stern look. He had promised to take her shopping for a new phone, and while she wasn't looking forward to a ride on his death trap, she really wanted her games back. "I didn't know you were a mechanic along with being a war hero."
"I'm not a war hero," he responded mechanically.
The words burst from her lips. "If it weren't for you," she snapped, "Doctor Zola would've been on his merry way to design new techniques to destroy the human race. You stopped him. If that's not heroic, I don't know what is."
"I'm not a war hero," Bucky said again after getting over the initial shock at her outburst.
"But you're a mechanic?"
"I'm not that either," he huffed. "Mr. Thurow needs me to tow his car."
"Excuse me?"
"The company overcharges and always ends up damaging the vehicle. He asked me for a favour."
"Do we have a tow truck?" she asked.
Bucky raised his left hand. "I have a metal arm," he pointed out. "And super strength. I can easily tow a car."
Baby Girl was speechless. "How long will you be?"
Bucky checked his watch. "An hour? Less, if I manage to not get roped into game night."
"Game night? It's a weekday."
"Every night's a game night at the Thurow's," Bucky responded seriously. "We'll get your phone first thing tomorrow morning."
"Promise?" she asked his retreating figure.
"Promise," he replied. "Lock the door, alright? And keep the blinds down."
"Alright, Dad," she retorted, but he had already left.
Baby Girl took a deep breath. This was the first time she had been alone in weeks. She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes. A minute passed, then two, then three. Five minutes later, she opened her eyes and saw only thirty seconds had passed. She groaned from boredom and flopped over the armrest. She was loath to admit that she dearly missed Bucky. There was something in his air and manner of walking that brought peace to her inner turmoil.
She sighed, resorting to cleaning the kitchen, which was not dirty in the least. In the middle of her furiously scrubbing the countertop with a sponge, the landline chimed annoyingly from the other room. "Hello," she answered, twirling the cord with her pinky. "Who's this?"
"Baby Girl!" the jolly voice on the other line bellowed. "I was hoping you'd pick up."
"Sam!" The two talked, catching up on the past few days. It turned out Sam was in Washington. "How's Sarah?" she asked. "Is she enjoying her time away from the boys? They're lovely, but they can be a nuisance."
Sam grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.
"What?"
"She's on a date," he groaned. "Look, I'm happy for her. But I didn't need to see her exchanging spit with a stranger."
"Poor you," she giggled. "And lucky Sarah! Wowza!"
Sam laughed on the other line. "It's great to hear you happy after so long."
"Hmm," Baby Girl hummed, feeling momentarily guilty. "By the way, I thought you and Sarah were going to New Orleans. What are you doing in Washington?"
"He didn't tell you," Sam said with surprise. "I thought he would."
"Tell me what?"
"I know about Quentin," Sam sighed. "I know you're still dating him."
Her breath got stuck in her throat. "He told you?" she asked in disbelief.
"Don't be mad at him," Sam pleaded. "I made him tell me."
There was shuffling on the other end. A loud sniffle.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry you felt like Quentin was the only one you could count on."
"What exactly did Bucky say?" Baby Girl questioned, thinking Sam was too calm about the situation.
"He said Quentin was blackmailing you to stay with him."
Baby Girl sighed. "Is that all? Did he say anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Like... nothing." She realized Bucky had not disclosed any of the more sensitive subject matter. Not the abuse, nor Quentin's impromptu visit. "It's nothing. I'm sorry I kept this from you."
Sam sighed heavily on the other line. "That's in the past. We can only move forward from here on out."
Baby Girl nodded even though Sam couldn't see her. "You have a good friend," she told him. "Bucky's doing a lot to help. He came up with the plan to distract Quentin with "bigger fish," as he put it. Quentin will forget all about me if he finds something more worthwhile. But I'm sure you know all about that."
"He said what? That's not what we planned!" Sam exclaimed. He swore under his breath. "I need to take this call. It's Congress—I'll tell you soon, alright? I'll call you right back."
"Sure," she said, slightly flustered. "I'll be waiting."
Sam ended the call, and she put the receiver down. The second she did, the landline immediately started ringing.
"What took you so long?" she joked with a laugh. "I've been waiting hours for your call."
"You have? I knew you missed me."
Baby Girl felt her heart drop to her stomach. The voice on the other line was not quite as deep, or quite as warm. It was low and raspy, eliciting goosebumps across her arms and bad memories across her skin.
She made to end the call, but his shrill warning stopped her. "You don't want to do that," Quentin hissed.
"What do you want?" she managed to ask between ragged breaths.
"Straight to the point, I see. You've really changed."
"Fuck you!" she seethed. "I asked you a question." She was surprised by her resolve, and so was he.
"What, you're swearing now? That's not the girl I know."
Her body was trembling with adrenaline. "Tell me what you want, or I'll end the call."
She could feel his anger through the line. "I want to talk to you in person."
"Over your dead body!" she yelled.
Quentin was oddly calm with his response. "No, not over mine."
It was so obviously a bait—one she couldn't help but fall for. "What do you mean?"
"It's a shame," he sighed, "that I'm meeting them for the first time under such shit circumstances. They're cute kids. Would've loved New York."
Time seemed to stop.
"Have you boys ever seen the Statue of Liberty? I'll take you once your Aunt comes back home. We can all go together."
There was a muffled noise, then the slam of a door shutting close. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over Baby Girl. Her muscles tightened painfully, and she collapsed onto the couch.
"No," she whispered.
Quentin laughed on the other end. "Cat got your tongue?"
Baby Girl closed her eyes, feeling tears of frustration well in the corners. This is why she kept her distance. This is why she wanted to go back to Quentin and back to New York. But she let herself hope in Bucky's presence, let herself believe that she could have a family while keeping her freedom. "You monster," she hissed. "Don't you dare touch them." But there wasn't any heat behind her words, only the bitter taste of defeat.
He tasted it too, and oh, how he reveled in it! Quentin laughed again, low and menacing. "I told you I wouldn't let you leave so easily. Meet me in person if you want to see your dear nephews again. And don't you dare tell anyone," he hissed. "This is between you and me."
Baby Girl ignored his warning and reached into her back pocket to grab her phone and tell Bucky. But her hand came back empty. She didn't have a phone; she didn't even have Bucky's number. And did she really want to risk the boys' lives by going behind Quentin's back? He didn't want them anyway, he only wanted her.
With tears burning her eyes and a fire blazing in her chest, Baby Girl asked, "Where do you want to meet?"
On the other end, Quentin smiled, knowing he had won.
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Bucky reached into his back pocket and grabbed his phone. He scrolled through his contacts, realizing too late that he didn't have her number. His face fell, and he sighed deep and slow, garnering the attention of the room. Carlos Thurow had invited some friends for a game of poker and forced Bucky to play a round with them. That was four rounds ago.
"What's got you so down, Sergeant?" Carlos teased. "There a girl waiting for you at home?" The men laughed and cheered, barraging Bucky with questions.
He found himself smiling, and finished his beer in one swig. "I do, actually," he said, grabbing his jacket and walking to the door. "I should get going."
The men cheered him on, and Bucky left feeling light and tingly. It wasn't from the alcohol—Bucky couldn't get drunk anymore—it was her. His Baby Girl.
The walk to Sam's was warm. The stars were out, the sky clear, and the wind blew gently, ruffling the trees around him. Bucky took a deep breath, smelling the ocean air and the earthy trees, listening to the faint sounds of crickets chirping and owls hooting. A night had never been sweeter.
Once at the house, Bucky lightened his footsteps and creeped onto the porch, feeling mischievous and wanting to spook Baby Girl. The living room light was on, and he could see the television playing silently through the thin curtain. Bucky placed a hand on the door, frowning when it creeped open at the slightest touch.
Didn't he tell her to lock the door? And to leave it completely open? Delacroix was a small community inhabited by kind and lawful people, but there was a crazy ex on the loose. He expected Baby Girl to be more careful than that.
Bucky decided he would give her a proper scare for her carelessness and slipped through the entryway. He sneaked into the living room, arms raised like in the movies, and—
She wasn't there. Bucky quickly scanned his surroundings. TV playing, couch pushed askew, the landline dangling from its cord, the edge of the carpet flipped over as if someone had run over it. Bucky rushed to check the rest of the house, the bedrooms, the washroom—he even checked the lake. Nothing.
He went back to the living room, senses dialed to the maximum. There was no sign of a forced entry, and though a scuffle was apparent, there were no prints or marks that indicated there had been another person. Unless they covered their tracks. But then why leave the carpet overturned, the couch askew? Why make it obvious something had happened?
Perhaps Bucky was overthinking, and Baby Girl had run to the store to grab something. She had already proved herself to be impulsive and clumsy. It wouldn't be a huge stretch to believe she forgot to lock the door behind her in a hurry.
Except, she wouldn't have left without her wallet. Bucky bent down to grab her purse from under the coffee table, feeling dread engulf him at the sight. Palms sticky and breaths uneven, he looked around the room once more. This time, he noticed something he hadn't before, a hastily scribbled note peeking out from under the landline.
Bucky snatched the note, careful not to crease it.
"I'm sorry," it began. "I had no choice. He has the boys." 
Bucky's mind began to race with questions. Most namely, "Where?"
It was then that his senses picked up on something new. The faint scent of smoke. Bucky dropped the note and ran out the back, scanning the horizon. There, on the opposite side of the lake, a thick column of smoke billowed from behind the treeline. The beginnings of a large fire. Baby Girl's house was set ablaze, glowing brightly in the dark. Bucky's heart dropped to his stomach, and he ran.
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Note: So... I lied. There will need to be another part.
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Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi
Main Masterlist │Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3
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Comments and Reblogs are appreciated!! 💜
@astrophileous @buckylovinglokivariant @casa-boiardi @crazyunsexycool @dancer3205 @dascarypicklerawr @drakelover78 @hallecarey1 @kandis-mom @marantha @marvelatthetwilight @marvelouslyunstable @ria132love @spookyparadisesheep @sunnyhummingbee @traderjoesmints
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venusfalling · 2 years ago
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Off to Germany Without So Much as a Fucking Goodbye
summary: Episode 2 of TFATWS. You pick up Bucky from jail.
warnings: none?
notes: Well, this only really makes sense if you've watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but if you haven't, there are still some fun angst and fluff bits! Married!Reader. Part 2 to There You Are.
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    Jail. Bucky’s therapist called to tell you that your husband was in jail. You had spent three days worrying about him, thinking the worst, but now? Now you were (mostly) angry as you waited for him on the street outside the police station.
    “James Buchanan Barnes!” you yelled when you saw him and Sam leave the station.
    “Shit,” Bucky muttered.
    “Jail! First a stupid text—‘Going to Germany on a mission with Sam’—no explanation, no phone call, no word from you at all for three days! And then, I have to hear from your therapist that you’re in jail!” The way you emphasize your words tells Bucky that he’s really in trouble this time. He tries reaching a hand out to touch you, but you brush him off. You start walking to the car, parked two streets over, and Bucky and Sam follow. The keys that you’re holding begin to bend from the crushing force of your hand as your emotions overwhelm you. All of that anger and anxiety and relief rolled up into one big sob caught in your throat.
    “I can explain,” Bucky calls after you.
    “I am your wife! I deserve more than a goddamn text and secondhand information!” you snap, turning around to face him.
    “Wife?” Sam questions, but you both ignore him. Sam knew the two of you were close after the time you spent together in Wakanda, but five years was a long time.
    “I was worried, Buck,” your voice breaks a little bit, and you finally let Bucky pull you into a hug.
    “I know, I know. I’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “It was supersoldiers,” he explains when you pull out of the hug, “part of a group called the Flagsmashers that’ve been stealing vaccines and supplies.”
    “The Flagsmashers? The bad guys really are getting less creative.”
--
    Bucky continues to explain it all: the tip from Lieutenant Joaquin Torres (Sam’s airforce buddy), the supersoldiers they caught stealing vaccines in Germany, the ensuing chase, and the interference from the new Captain America. It was a lot to say the least.
--
    The keys in your hand are all but ruined, but you continue to walk towards the car anyway. The lock in the car is metal and, as the ruined keys prove, bending metal is kind of your forte. Car theft is what got you on Fury’s radar after all. Bucky takes the warped keys from you, tucks them in his pocket, and holds your hand. Not all is forgiven, but for now… for now you need him within arms reach to make sure he doesn’t disappear again.
    “So, you two are married. Since when?” Sam catches up to the both of you, having given you space for your lover’s quarrel.
    Not many people know about your relationship with Bucky. Things were… complicated after The Blip. You had waited five years for him, never moving on no matter how much Steve encouraged you to do so.
    You had friends, but you weren’t as close anymore, and your relationship with Bucky was something so close to your heart that sometimes, telling others didn’t feel safe. Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t have many friends, and it took him ages to tell his therapist. It was something she‘d only pried out of him after he’d listed you as his emergency contact. Other than her, the only people who did know were the judge who signed the marriage license and your witness: Steve.
    “Since six months ago,” Bucky replies. Sam is about to ask a follow-up question when a police car siren cuts him off.
    “Gentlemen,” John Walker calls out from the police parking lot sandwiched between the police station and the corporate building next door. “Good to see you again.” He nods in your direction, “Ma’am.” Then when he recognizes you he says, “Wait, you’re an Avenger! You’d be a great addition to our team.”
    Bucky’s hold on your hand grows a little tighter at that, and the three of you stop in front of where John Walker and Lamar Hopkins lean against the doors of a police cruiser. Bucky stands just an inch or two in front of you, as if trying to hide you.
    “There is no team,” Bucky argues.
    “Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that,” Walker continues.
    “So what do you got?” Sam asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
    “Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.” The casual way in which Walker speaks about over-policing groups of people who are already suffering makes you understand Bucky and Sam’s defensive nature.
    “They geo-tag a location, then scramble the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe,” Lamar explains.
    “We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps,” Walker finishes.
    “Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip. So, I guess you’ll have to look real hard,” Bucky remarks snidely.
    “Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” Walker scowls at Bucky, and the look that Bucky returns is more distasteful than his usual glare.
    “Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?”
    The scowl on Walker’s face deepens at Bucky’s question. “No, we don’t know, Bucky. But, it’s only a matter of time before we find out.”
    “Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” Bucky shoots back, taking another step forward and letting go of your hand while Walker pushes himself off of the police car.
    “Take it easy. Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them,” Sam cuts in. “But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.” Sam turns and walks back toward the main road. You and Bucky follow, but Walker isn’t finished:
    “A word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way.”
--
    “So, what are you thinking?” Sam is the first to break the silence when you finally reach the parked Cadillac. The one that Bucky only ever drove when he was with you, preferring the motorcycle—which was still at the airfield where he had met Sam three days ago.
    “Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said ‘my people’…” Bucky starts. You remember that name: Isaiah. Bucky had told you about the forgotten supersoldier, the one America never loved enough because of the color of his skin.
    “Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant,” Sam cuts him off.
    “No, he meant HYDRA. HYDRA used to be my people.” You squeeze his hand once, then let go to begin unlocking the car, placing your hand on the door and feeling for the locking mechanisms inside. People really ought to stop making things out of metal.
    Sam scoffs. “Not a chance.”
    “Walker doesn’t have any leads,” Bucky counters. You can see the crinkle in his brow he gets when he has an idea that he knows you won’t like.
    “I know where you’re going with this, no,” Sam says.
    “Where are you going with this?” you chime in, a bit lost in the conversation and still playing catch up to what happened in Germany.
    “Zemo. He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?”
    “I wish I could forget Siberia,” you grumble.
    “So, what? You’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam questions.
    “Y-yes.” Bucky admits. You want to argue, but you can see by the look on his face that he’s already set on going.
    “Well, if you’re going to see Zemo, then I’m coming too,” you demand, crossing your arms and looking up at him.
    “No, you’re not.” He mirrors your movements and looks down at you.
    “Bucky, where you go, I follow. That was the deal, remember?” You say, holding up your left hand to show him the ring on your finger.
    “Okay then. We’re gonna go see Zemo. The three of us,” Sam decides, opening the car door. Then he smiles at you. “It’s good to be on a team with you again.”
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jasminocano · 1 year ago
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NAH LMAO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
Close, Suspiciously So
Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary | Falcon gains an interest in to as to why the reader and Bucky are spending so much time together after missions.
Warnings | the reader enjoying annoying Zemo and vice versa, swearing, hints at previous smut, threats
Requested ✖️
Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬
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Without much care for the expense, you dived upon Zemo’s couch, that was within his secret hideout, closing your eyes, and laying upon the comfortable furniture. The Baron simply scoffed at your behaviour, whereas, Bucky concealed his amusement, to Sam’s dismay.
Since the Falcon had called for your help, along with Bucky’s, the two of you had gotten close, always tailing each other on missions to ensure that the other did not get hurt, and there being no snide remarks emitting from the once winter soldier in your presence.
He was an utmost gentleman, and that was when Sam Wilson realised, the old man was trying to court you, as was done with more respect and less bluntness back in his war zone days. The man could see the adoration resonating in the eyes of the other, and he went to open his mouth, until Bucky turned abruptly towards the kitchen, Zemo trailing back over to Sam and you.
At his presence, you groaned, feeling his judgemental and high ranking eyes glaring predominantly at you, clearly wishing to sit on the space that you were occupying. Though, you made no movement to move, and instead, kicked your shoes off.
Sighing, Zemo rolled his irises around in the pools of his white, finally giving in to sharing thus another luxury with you and your darned companions. “There are bedrooms upstairs, you may take one y/n.”
At that, you smirked, moving upright to stand, making it clear that it had been your plan all along. “Thank you so much Helmet, is it to the left?” He nodded, wishing to get his hands rid of your presence, that was keen to trail away.
“She used to be a con artist before she joined the team, it’s clear she still carries some of the attributes.” Sam mumbled out into the air, watching as Zemo squinted honourably towards him.
“You tell me that as though I did not do my research before I became invested in stopping all superheroes, her included.” He simply sipped his tea, twiddling with the foil of a Turkish delight as he sat down, pleased that he now could.
“Was that an threat towards her to me?” It was no surprise, they all knew not to trust this man, he had done enough damage when he was free the last time, and now, it would be strange to suspect any different from him.
“No, simply a statement for now. I’d not have included her if your Labrador of a super soldier was in this room, but to my luck, James is not.” Another sip of his drink became audible in the air, as Sam turned around.
He was right, Bucky was no longer within the walls of the room, and his eyes began to flicker. They’d have seen him exit if he decided to leave, perhaps but he had been an assassins for a long time, so who knew, and there was no sign that the front door had been opened, no cold air was blowing inside.
But, he could have went upstairs, and gone to another bedroom. Who was he kidding, he’d be in the same room, it all made sense! And all along, he had been right, there had been something to suspect.
Though, the investigative part needed to know that he was right, and so, he, with the shadow of Zemo that he was defiant with not leaving behind, for he could run, the pair walked quietly up the steps.
Zemo pointed to the door whence they had reached the landing, and Sam, with a strained face, opened the door quickly, only for you and Bucky to jump away from each other.
Your hands fell reluctantly from Bucky’s shoulders, and he himself licked his lips, trying to rid the evidence of your lipstick from his mouth. But it was to no avail working, the pair of you had been caught out, and surely, the two of you would never hear the end of this.
“I knew it!” Sam bellowed, pleased that he had been right to have his suspicions all along. Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam, zipping up his fly that no one else but you, had realised had been undone. But the action drew attention to the feature, and it soon dawned on Sam that the pair of you must have just finished something before Sam had barged in. “Y’all are gross!”
“And you seem to be rather oblivious Samuel. It was clear that these two came up here to fuck, and I am surprised that you are only just discovering this now. Some would think you were asleep on jet, when the pair suddenly decided that they both needed to use the bathroom, or when I was beating up the dance floor in Madripoor, that you were incidentally left all by your lonesome as the two of them disappeared into the crowd.”
He took another sip of his tea that he had carried up here, and you crossed your arms, whilst Bucky scowled murderously towards the two men that had intervened where they shouldn’t have.
“The fact that you pay that close detail to us is weird.” You stated, your nostrils flaring as you stared at the Sokovian. “Do you not have anything better to do?” You retorted, causing Zemo to put his cup down on its adjoining plate that was held in his spare hand before he responded.
“Not really, no. Whilst you have taken me hostage, it is either watch the drama that is ongoing in your little group, or think about the mission ahead. And as much as I would like to kill Karli-“
“No.” Sam scolded him, frowning at the man, who only rolled his shoulders back before continuing, being strictly against taking a girls life, he allowed him to speak more, no matter how irritating the rest would be.”
“However, it has been clear to me from the very beginning what the two of you have been doing, and whilst this oaf has not accepted it, it was far too easy to put the pieces together. It’s like you never told him about that time that you used your con skills to make Sam get food whilst you were going against the accords, and Steve was occupied with bringing the team together, and you had some of your own fun in the front seat, where he had been sat.”
Sam’s eyes widened, and so did Bucky’s. “I’m going to kill you!” They both said simultaneously, Sam’s aimed at Bucky whilst Bucky’s words were prompted towards zemo.
“Seriously, you’re creepy dude!” You whisper shouted as you held Bucky back, Zemo smirking in reply.
“I hear things, and I’d say for a con woman, you speak far too much to your lover, and the walls here are only thin.” And with that, he picked his mug up once more, after having already spilt the tea.
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bubbarnes · 11 months ago
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“... woah! hang on”.
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antiquarianfics · 1 year ago
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Therapy
Sometimes all a person needs is a little reassurance they’re not a bad person.
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A/N: I’m rewatching TFATWS and the therapy scene broke me tbh. Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader Warnings: None. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.
You do not have permission to repost or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, or reblog.
“And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me!”
Bucky’s words make you tense, and you feel your heart clench. Your eyes shoot from Bucky, to Sam, to Raynor. Neither Sam nor Raynor seem as affected by Bucky’s words as you. You suppose, however, his therapist would only see Bucky’s confession as a breakthrough, and his friend, in his anger, would only see it as selfish.
Bucky seems to realize he admitted something not only to the room, but to himself. It was clearly not his plan to share such a thought, and it was clearly a thought he didn’t want to admit to himself.
Later, when Sam, Bucky, and yourself are sitting on a plane, headed to meet with Zemo (against your protests), you finally bring up the impromptu therapy session with Bucky.
“Sweetheart?” You say, pulling Bucky’s attention from a random spot on the wall he’s staring at to you.
The hardened expression on Bucky’s face melts away as he looks at you.
“Doll?” He responds, mimicking your same questioning tone.
You bite your lip anxiously before leaning forward and planting a kiss on his lips. The kiss takes him slightly off guard, but he happily returns it. The kiss takes you slightly off guard, too, because you kissed him to buy yourself some time to figure out what you want to say. After a second, you pull away, anxiously biting your lip again.
“What was that for?” Bucky asks, a goofy smile gracing his lips.
“Uh…” you trail off. “A distraction?”
“A distraction?”
“Uh, yeah. I needed to distract you while I figured out what to say.”
He shoots you a questioning look, but you continue before he can say anything.
“What you said earlier, to Sam,” you start, voice unsure.
Bucky sighs and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes.
“Y/N,” he says, a pleading tone lacing each syllable of your name. He doesn’t want to talk about this.
“Bucky,” you argue, “I just… I just want you to be okay. Do you really think that? That Steve was wrong about you?” The thought upsets you, and you can tell he knows it.
“Wasn’t he?”
“No.”
“Doll.”
“James.”
He meets your eyes and you raise an eyebrow at him.
“Steve trusted Sam with his shield—with his legacy. Steve was a better person than all of us. If… if he was wrong about Sam, then he was wrong about me.”
“First of all, Steve was just a man. He wasn’t a god, and we need to stop talking about him like he was. He was a really good man, yes, but just a man. His opinion on any one person or any one situation is not inherently the right one. Second of all, that’s a logical fallacy and you know it. Steve gave Sam the shield because he believed he would do with it what was right. Sam did exactly what he thought was right. You have to stop blaming him for that. Third of all, Steve wasn’t wrong about you. If he was, Buck, you’d be in prison, but he wasn’t and you’re not. You’re here, with me, with Sam, and you’re trying to make the world a better place.”
Bucky stares at you. You’re so adamant, and it scares him. He knows you’re right, but even if you weren’t, he thinks he’d believe you simply because you’re so sure of yourself. He swallows.
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
You sigh in relief that he’s at least agreeing with you.
“Y/N?” He asks. You hum in response.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
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